The Asylum Records

Fun day

2009-12-21T01:56:20Z

So I went to Round Rock and had lunch with Aunt Christie, Uncle Dave, my cousins Carl and Dan and Dan's wife. They had their little daughter with them, too, and she was just everywhere. Haha... it was fun. Dan was climbing on the walls of the house and acting like a monkey for his daughter, he was running around the playground like an idiot. ^^ It's fun to see him enjoying being a dad.

And why am I not surprised that Dan likes the same websites that I and Amanda do? XD People of Walmart, Failblog... stuff to make you feel better about yourself and make you laugh before you start your day. Aunt Christie was saying that Dan and Carl's sense of humor was immature to which I said so was mine... lol

Anyway, so Dan and Carl played the original Nintendo Mario Brothers with Carl hitting the pause button whenever Dan played as Luigi. (Carl even tried to get Dan's daughter to hit the pause, but that's okay, Dan's managed to get her to call Carl "Uncle Caca".) They wrestled around a bit, almost on top of the poor cat in the room, his daughter came in and giggled and generally looked like a cute little ball of fun. Oh, and Dan's got another baby on the way too. XD We also played around at the park.

Aunt Joyce and Uncle Jim came over later and we had to leave at some point.

Oh this was cool. Dan was popping a tennis ball with a baseball bat and he hit it away into a wide area. He went off with the bat and popped it back into the playground, except the ball hit a telephone WIRE and the ball dropped from there. I'm serious. It hit the damn wire and fell. How often can you say a ball was stopped by a wire? XD

So yeah, had fun today. I hate driving on I35. =A= I also hate driving on North 183. =A= I had to do both today.

Arrgh! I have some excellent swag, me hearties!

2009-12-13T03:12:56Z

Okay, so a few days ago Bear was acting very subdued. He was very unresponsive to playing with straws or strings, he would just sleep on mama Judy and Papa's bed the entire day and when he got up he would not play with the other cats like he should, but opted to be a little black lump on the floor. I told Papa about it, but it didn't register until about...eh... I think Wednesday. Yeah, it was then... anyway... So We took Bear to the vet and they said he had a fever. So we let them keep him for two days. He's back now, though, thankfully, and he's looking a lot better. The vet said she knew Bear was feeling better because he ripped up the paper in his box, overturned his kitty litter, his food bowl AND his water bowl and was yeowling to get out. Poor baby wanted home like NOW.

I have to give him medicine until the medicine is gone so, there's that. Otherwise, Bear is fine. He's currently asleep on my Gryffindor hoodie.

So I have black rose earring stud style clip-ons. They're pretty. :3 And funnily enough I get complimented on them all the time. Used to if I showed up at school with clip-ons on I would get made fun of. -wo Anyway, so I also have this necklace that is from the new Alice in Wonderland merchandise line for the new Alice in Wonderland movie. Hot Topic is selling some AiW gear. ^^ They're neat. Of course you have to wade through the huge selection of Twilight crap to get to it. -wo

so today I played at the Mary Lee foundation with the Blazing Bows. When I got home, I put my violin away and took Mama Judy to Austin again and we spent some money on books and a couple of DVDs then made sure that some of the proceeds from the purchase went to Mama Judy's organization, the Daughters Of The Nile. It's only for today, though. I went looking for something specific for Amanda, but they didn't have it. I think I might have to order it online or something. Papa said he'll check the used book store in Bastrop for it. Since I couldn't find what it was I was looking for, most of what I got ended up mostly being for me or for the house.

For the house we have the John Adams miniseries. I seriously need to find that damn soundtrack. I can't find it anywhere. I'll end up having to order THAT online too, because there's not a store I know that sells it. For me, I've got World War Z by Max Brooks. Are you prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse?

remember, sharpened weapons don't need to be reloaded.

Cats and boots

2009-12-05T09:23:54Z

So Bear got snipped on Monday. We got him neutered. Papa tricked him into getting into the cage before dropping him off at the vet Monday morning and then I went with Papa to the vet later that day to pick him up. The poor little guy looked so out of it and in pain. T///T

So he's feeling better now. The cats hissed and growled at him when he came back. Blaze too serious swipes at him with claws that I went after her anytime she lashed out at little Bear. Now they're all happy and whatever. Bear's curled up with Blaze on my bed. Chewy's curled up on the floor.

Papa also gave me his combat boots. I totally love them. He's had these things for a long time. I think he said they're from Vietnam, but I don't remember that well. He sort of said it as an aside so it wasn't that loud. Either way, I adore them and have been walking around in them every day now. The reason he hauled them out was because I needed boots for these winter months, especially if we get snow. (Although the snow completely bypassed us today.) I only have sneakers (converse) and ballet flats and my Chinese shoes. That's it. I don't generally wear too much else for footwear. So, as you can see, I desperately needed something to keep my feet warm in the winter months. >.>

Anyway, so I've been on an Eclipse kick. It's funny when I start pining for the lulz that New Moon brought me while I read Eclipse. It's not as lulzy, though it has its moments. For the most part, it's boring. It makes me wonder just how fucked up Wutherin Heights is, since, obviously, Meyer intended for us to equate Wutherin Heights with... this.

Anyway, hope ya''ll have had a good week.

New Moon movie

2009-12-01T13:19:41Z

I never did say anything about watching the Twilight movie, did I? Sorry. Twilight the movie is better than the book because we're spared the prose and Bella's inner monologue most of the time. Instead, we're treated to Bella being awkward, Edward being awkward and the only normal, fun people are the natives, the school kids, some of them, and the Cullens minus Edward. I adore Emmet, I adore Alice, I adore Jasper, I adore Carlisle and Esme. Everything else is shit town. Edward and Bella are one dimensional in the books and that carried over into Twilight well. I don't blame Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart, either. No, this is a story thing and that comes straight from Meyer. They're just acting the parts given to them.

And yet, it was still better than this fucking movie.

Just like the book Twilight and the book New Moon, Twilight has the sole distinction of being BETTER than New Moon ever thought of being. At least we were spared Bella's emo/suicidal inner monologue in Twilight, though in lieu of that, we get treated to the some of the worst purple prose of the fucking century. I watched Twilight online. Now I watch New Moon online, thanks to Amanda, and I want to punch kittens.

So, we open with her rambling about something, I don't care what it was about. We're treated to the same thing we get in the book, her running to get to Edward, blah blah blah. Then she's in the meadow and yadda yadda yadda, she has a dream she's her grandma, wakes up, then freaks out when her dad says "you've got a gray hair". Because 18 is so fucking OLD. She's so stupid, she actually goes to her mirror to check to see if she actually has a gray hair or not. I kid you not!

Then, she goes to school, we're treated to her actually being sort of human for once and accepting a birthday party from the Cullens, though, of course, Jasper had some hand in that. (And he finally talked with an accent! WOO!) And then we are treated to Edward and Bella competing for the title of Super Emo while Edward talks about wanting to commit suicide and Bella tells him to stop. Then, just because Edward has not shown he's the epitome of perfection yet he is asked to recite the last things said in Romeo and Juliet because Edward and Bella have been talking IN CLASS. That's right, in class where everyone can hear them. He was talking about needing to keep secrecy and he's talking with people around him. Perfect. And as if that were not an insult to your intelligence, he recites perfectly with little feeling the lines from Romeo and Juliet he was asked to recite. (By the way, I hate Romeo and Juliet. I'm more of a Macbeth/Hamlet chick. Gotta love the insanity. WAHAHAHAHA)

Also, before they even get to class they kiss, but the kiss is repulsive to the point of being disgusting. No, seriously, I was cringing when I watched it. Every time they kiss I feel gross and need to take a shower. It's repulsive!

Emmet, Jasper and Alice are pretty much the only bright points here. The party comes along and Bella graciously takes her presents and opens them. Carlisle gives her a present and she gets a papercut. Bullshit, that's not a paper cut. It's her ripping open her fucking finger with the corner of the envelope. Blood is streaming down her finger and pooling fast enough that a single drop falls to the floor and Jasper freaks the fuck out and tries to kill her. (Now why didn't he do that before?) Edward, bless his pointed head, tries to kill her by tossing her to a bunch of crystal vases that break when she lands on them and slices open her entire arm. (Oops, that was supposed to be him saving her.) Carlisle takes care of Bella's arm and says that Edward's reason for not changing her is because Edward thinks her soul is in danger if he does change her. (Normally, yes, that would be an issue, but here...) And because of this, Edward then tells her that "we're leaving Forks." (Also, while I watched this, I was laughing because Robert Pattinson looks fucking bored out of his skull and Kristen Stewart looks high.... which she is.)

And Bella suddenly seems to think she's actually part of the Cullens despite the fact he was blatantly talking about his family and she's not married to him... yet. Start the countdown to Emo state. He tells her doesn't want her to come along, he says he doesn't want her anymore, blah blah blah, she gets a bit faint, he disa-fucking-ppears and she runs through the forest until it's night time and DUN DUN DUN werewolf comes along and picks her up. Hello sudden new character! Kidding, it's Sam, the one I continuously made jokes about being a gay boy turning all the other boys gay with his awesome cock. She's taken back home to her dad and her dad doesn't get very uppity about the fact that his daughter came home in the arms of a shirtless native boy. (I know he knows that Sam's a good boy and went out looking for her, but seriously? He's shirtless. While I enjoy seeing a shirtless guy, I'd be a little weirded out seeing some shirtless guy show up with my daughter.)

And then we're treated to the four month long self induced coma. She sits in a chair and, I kid you not, stares out her window while the camera moves around her in a circle and shows the seasons changing from fall to winter with the words October, November, December grace the screen. (And they forgot January.) All while some music plays over her staring out the window and she also gives some stupid monologue too. (Also, she looks like a fucking zombie. Check that shit out.) "Alice, you've disappeared. Like everything else. But who else can I talk to? I'm lost. When you left, when he left, you took everything with you. The absence of him is everywhere I look. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest." And she wakes up shrieking from her "nightmares" where she's left alone in the forest. *snort* (Anyone else notice Bella/Alice here more than anything else?) And we see her sitting away from her friends and being a distant, emotional mess. And we have more of her screaming. Gotta love that they actually show her screaming. Helps that whole image of mental illness. Oh wait, that's not what they were going for.

"But in a way I'm glad. The pain is the only reminder that he was real. That you all were." More Bella is a zombie...

And then she's confronted by her dad saying she's going to Jacksonville, Florida to live with her mom. THIS. IS. A. GIRL. WITH. MENTAL. ISSUES. KNOW THE FUCKING SIGNS, MAN. Never in my life have I wanted to see a rifftrax of a movie. So Bella bold faced lies to her dad about being fine, about going to go on a girls night out with Jessica, then promptly sets it up to go see a movie with Jessica and Jessica rambles on while Bella resembles a zombie in nice clothes. Also, Jessica has one of the funniest lines in this. "What's the deal with zombie movies anyway? Why would they make them? I mean--I know they're supposed to be some sort of metaphor for leprosy, but my cousin had leprosy and it's not funny." Wow. That just made my night so far. lol

Then, Bella spots a group of guys who she thinks are the gang rapists that wanted a piece of her bitchy little tail. o.o And we actually see Edward as a ghost talking to Bella. *laughs!* Oh wow! So we actually get to SEE her delusions too! HAHAHAHA! Seriously, what part of this is romantic? She's gone insane and become delusional. Oh oh, and of course she goes right toward the gang while Jessica's left standing about thinking her would be friend has actually lost her mind. (Girl, just walk away and let the bitch get what she deserves. Seriously.) I find it funny that there's this guy hitting on Bella and he looks old enough to be her dad. Even better than that, though, Bella says this about the whole thing. "God, that was such a rush."

I'll pause and let you laugh.

"Alice, I saw him. Maybe I'm crazy now, but I guess that's okay. If a rush of danger is what it takes to see him then that's what I'll find." Anyone else hoping she dies? Thought so.

And why is it that the more depressed she looks the better looking she looks? I'm seriously, she starts looking more and more like a starlet the longer she stays depressed. What the fuck is this shit? Jacob saves the day by being awesome, of course. And yes, if I could get away with wearing a Team Jacob shirt solely because I just adore Jacob and not endorse him with Bella or give money to Meyer in doing so, I would. In a heartbeat. Jacob needs more love, damn it. He's like one of the few normal people in this fucking thing. (Oh and Bella says she's mentally 35. *coughmeyercough* )

She and Jacob put together the bikes. Meanwhile, we get to see Quil and Embry, the Fred and George of this whole thing. (I say they're like that, but in the movie they're way too subdued.) She rambles off another letter to Alice that will go no where and she says this beauty, "But even Jake can't keep the dreams away." Cue MORE screaming from Bella. Bella drives Jacob and the bikes somewhere and we get to see Sam and the boys cliff diving to which Jacob has to mention it's "scary as hell, but a total rush." DINGDINGDINGDING! Bella's idea light just went off over her head. Though, of course, we don't get Bella cliff diving for a while. First, we get to see Bella's Edward delusions with her getting on a motorcycle, which is done as though he's already dead and a ghost and talking to her. And you know it's a delusion, because he had no part in it and it all came from Bella. WOW. Meyer, were you trying to tell us that this was true love or showing us the life of a very boring, shallow, crazy, selfish bitch?

I HOPE YOU CRACKED YOUR DAMN HEAD OPEN, RETARD!

Excuse me, I couldn't help myself.

Jacob: Are you trying to get yourself killed? (yes, she is, Jacob. Yes, she is. Unfortunately, she's so inept that she can't even manage that.)

Then, of course, Jacob starts his routine of going shirtless. He rips his shirt off to put on her head to stem the blood. Oh Jacob, just forget the bitch. You deserve so much better.

Oh Wow... LOL How bad do they need to make a movie to make this one look better in comparison? This is like that stupid band in Cool As Ice before Vanilla Ice showed up to do his thing. The action movie going on in this is hilariously bad. Even better, though, the boy that keeps going after Bella that isn't Jacob or Edward--forgot his name--actually gets sick during the movie. Oh wait, that's right, that stomach flu that was being hammered into our heads that I originally had a theory had some part in the transformation in the werewolves before. (My theory was that it made people sick if they got near humans, but that was totally debunked and Meyer isn't that creative.) Meanwhile, Bella and Jacob had a conversation of ultimate awkward lines. (Not surprising.) This includes Bella saying that Jacob is her friend and she wants nothing more from him because anything more would ruin everything. (HE DOESN'T SPARKLE THEREFORE HE ISN"T INTERESTING.)

Also, anyone watching this scene reminded of after school specials about moving on from an addiction or some shit like that? Seriously, there should be an Intervention episode dedicated to Bella trying to stop her sparkle addiction. (HE'S GAY, GET OVER IT.) Or it could also be an after school special about moving on from abusive boyfriends. That works too.

Then, out of no where... JACOB HAS STOLEN HARRY'S CAPSLOCK OF RAGE! RAAAAAWR! He's got Voldemort whispering in his ear! No, seriously, Jacob suddenly turns asshole in the time it takes for him to pull off his shirt. Just... BAM! I'm gonna fuck you up!

Jacob fucking poofs for a while and Bella goes crazy over him then. (Leech anyone? I half expect to see her hiding behind a door and going "Married. Married. Married. Married. Married.") When he does show up, it's raining, he's shirtless, his hair is short and he has an awesome tattoo on his shoulder. Now if that isn't a recipe for awesome goodness looking right there I don't know what is. But that isn't the point. He tells her to go away, and she finally starts looking distraught and not starlet looking, like she has through most of this movie and we're only half way through it. He tells her that she doesn't want him, that he's not good for her and says that whole "It's not you, it's me" junk, whatever.... Welcome to Twilight, home of the super cheesy, badly written Harlequin romance level drama. THE REJECTED STUFF.

Bella writes Alice again saying that without Jake she can't stand life. She's going off in search of the wistful little meadow she saw Edward sparkle in as this monologue goes off. Of course, when she gets to the meadow, the meadow is completely brown and dead. WOW. WHAT A METAPHOR! (meanwhile, the movie still hasn't finished loading. God, at this rate I won't finish watching this fucking movie until about 7 in the morning! Fuckin' A, internet! MOVE IT. Also, anyone else notice that Bella has once again gone back to looking like a starlet?) I will say this, of course, that the wolves are fucking awesome looking. Well, from afar. Up close it looks messy and half-assed. The wolves go after Laurent and Bella runs home to tell her dad that the "bears" are actually huge wolves that were chasing after a.. "thing" to avoid saying it was a vampire.

Does anyone notice that Victoria's got a brand new dye job too? Instead of the sort of ginger hair color that she had in the first movie, her hair is now fire engine red. No, I kid you not, it's that violently red.

Jake proves that he has been taking lessons from Jackie Chan by jumping and climbing up to Bella's window from down on the ground. (Wow, um, monkey king much? Again, he's also wearing shorts and sneakers and that's about it.) We're treated to more awkward conversations that were strung together with scotch tape and wire between Bella and Jacob, of course, where he conveniently forgets that she was hanging out with vampires and had to keep that a secret by asking her "Have you ever had a secret that you wasn't yours to tell?"

*laughing* sorry, He just asked her if she remembered the story about the history of the Cullens and the Quielute tribe and Bella said "Yes, the story about the Cullens." (The only thing that actually matters to her.) Jacob, thankfully, is not surprised by this. Again, it's like this thing can't quite figure out which after school special this is supposed to be resembling. Is it about addiction? Well, sort of. Is it about recovering from abusive boyfriends? Again, yeah, sort of. Is is about joining gangs (Jacob)? Well, sort of....

So Bella has a dream of wolves watching over her and she suddenly has an epiphany that Jacob is a werewolf. So she invades his house to see him sleeping. Then, she runs out and sees the Sam gang out there and WOW... NICE. Bella grew a spine suddenly and punched one of the boys when he laughed at her. So he goes apeshit and turns into a wolf, Jake gets his ass out of bed and runs out, goes wolf, and we get a huge wolf fight. (Nevermind, she didn't know that he was a wolf. Wishful thinking she had one ounce of intelligence and deductive reasoning in her.) Quil and Embry take Bella to Sam's fiancee's house while acting like Fred and George and we're introduced to Emily, who has been scarred on the right side of her face because of dear Sam going apeshit on her. Quil sits back and chows down while telling Bella that the alpha's orders must be obeyed whether they like to or not and that they can hear each other's thoughts, Embry tells him to shut his trap.

And for once I'm not repulsed by the kissing in this movie. (Sam and Emily. So cute.) "You're such a hypocrite, Bella. What, am I not the right monster for you?" Gotta love Jake to say exactly the truth. Of course, Bella's agonizing over the thought that Jacob and his pals go about killing people and say that the Cullens at least never hurt anyone. Blah blah blah, shit gets explained and Bella says that Victoria is after her. DUN DUN DUN!

Bella keeps having emo monologue/letters to Alice that sort of leave me wanting to strangle her so she'll shut up. Victoria and her fire engine red hair are chased around, now sporting Matrix like aerial jumping in quick time. (There is no sparkle.. I mean spoon.) Charlie's pal Harry Clearwater suffers from a heart attack after being attacked from no where by Victoria and Bella goes off wandering to the cliffs to go cliff diving. Then, she jumps in.

DROWN, BITCH!

Of course, as she's dying, we see Edward in the water with her. (God, this guy gets more screen time as a delusion than an actual person!) Unfortunately, Jacob saves her and takes her back to his house. Of course, we also get Jacob going on about what if he got mad at Bella and ripped her face off, but I think that'd be an improvement.

No, we're still not done with this movie because we have yet to get to the damn climax of the movie! Again, what after school special is this referring to? Oh, wait! A vampire showed up! Nevermind that it might be Victoria using a car that looks like the Cullens' car, Bella will just be going on over to her house where Jacob can't protect her if indeed it is Victoria ready to rip Bella apart.

Of course it's Alice that's come over because she thought Bella had jumped off a cliff and died. They get to talking and Alice says Werewolves are not good company to keep. Um, Alice.... hello? Vampires aren't good company either, you know. Jacob walks in on their lovey dovey reunion, which, as you've seen in the review of when I read the book, is sickeningly sweet to the point where I question the real pairing being Alice/Bella instead of Bella/Edward. Alice, of course, can't see past the living in the now of the wolfpack mindset and so she also gets uppity at Jacob.

Can anyone tell me exactly when did werewolves and vampires become enemies? I don't remember when. Underworld, maybe?

Anyway, of course as soon as the Cullens show up, her eternal loyalty is to them instead of to Jacob (the ones who have actually been protecting Forks since the Cullens booked it lickety split.). Meyer still hammering into our heads that this is like Romeo and Juliet, of course, with Bella being Juliet. (Whoa, Jacob looked kinda hot getting ready to kiss her.) Jacob picks up the phone and says that Charlie isn't around because he's busy planning a funeral. Alice comes in and says Edward's going to kill himself because he thinks Bella's dead. Then, Bella accuses Jacob and shouts at him for not letting her talk on the phone.

She books it with Alice while Jacob reminds her that Edward left her cold turkey and then asks about her dad, whom she has conveniently forgotten has just lost his friend, to which she replies "I'm 18. I can do what I want." (Mature.) Of course, she's goes off with Alice, Jacob begs for her to stay, she totally chooses the sparkleboy over the hot wolfboy. (Something inherently wrong with that. Jacob's more manly than Edward any day of the week.) They go to Italy. Meanwhile, Edward's going to the Volturi to try to get them to kill him, but they turn him down and say they would prefer him being a part of the Volturi.

So Alice drives at breakneck speed through narrow medieval streets and gives her a brief summary about people dressed in red commemorating the expulsion of vampires from Volterra. We have the overly dramatic slow motion of Bella running to get to Sparkleboy before he reveals his not so manly chest to everyone and scarring children for life. The sound of the clock striking twelve o'clock. IT'S DRAMATIC. OMG. (Bella, why are you wearing skinny jeans? Those aren't flattering... on anyone.) Edward suddenly realizes that Bella is real and not a delusion (Bella's delusions are contagious?) so he moves back into the dark with her where we aren't greeted by his sparkly diamond skin for the moment with it's bizarre sound effects. (It has a sound effect. I still can't believe that.)

Bella rambles off something about how she can let Edward go now since he doesn't want her. He tells her he lied to protect her... *yawn* Whatever. Get this fucker over with already! *cringe* God, why do they have to kiss? It's so gross! No, I'm not making this up. Every time Edward and Bella kiss it looks really... really disgusting. (mind you, the movie is STILL LOADING. ARGH! I WANT TO GO TO BED! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LOAD DAMN YOU!)

They go to the Volturi central with dear Jane, who looks properly creepy, and have some really funky opera going on in the elevator that makes me remember some creepy scenes with similar such things. (I would name something, but my brain is fucking fried by now. Also, the secretary was supposed to be black. She's not in this. So we turn Laurent into a black guy, but not the secretary? Something wrong here.) Bella wonders why a human would work with the Volturi if she knows who they are, what they are and that she is pretty well powerless to them. (Same reason you're in this, Bella. To be a vampire.)

And the Volturi sound like they're drugged. They speak in monotones. Well, except for one. I forgot which one he is. It doesn't matter, honestly. I swear he's the gay one because he acts so damn flamboyant. (Of course he also sort of acts a bit like the Master, too, so...) Also, I'm getting some very funky subtitles in this movie that just make me wonder what language it's in. In some places we get Russian, others we have this.... strange language. "Desi... nu poti citi gandurile Bellei" I didn't catch what he actually said. It really doesn't matter, either, since this movie I'm just hoping will be over before eight o'clock now. (MOVIE. MOVE IT.)

And of course we also have to remark on the fact that no one can read Bella's mind. ("She has a private mind." Stephanie Meyer) The Volturi can use their tricks on her, of course, because she's that fucking special.

You know what? I don't care anymore. I'm tired. I'm trying to get my sleep schedule back under control and this isn't helping. The coffee isn't staying kicked in. I'm getting small two second sound bites once every thirty seconds. Bear would probably like me to go to bed so he can snuggle on me instead of getting hissed at by Blaze. (He just got snipped/neutered. Poor baby is now not welcome again.) I'm getting creepy high pitched noises coming from the movie that make no sense to me because I'm not actually looking at it. I know the ending of this already, honestly. The Volturi give Bella the choice to become one of them, the Volturi, or she will have to die. Edward promises to turn her into a vampire. (oh, it was Edward that was getting the Lita Alexander style pain treatment.) They get to go home and Charlie grounds Bella for all of eternity while Bella resents being treated as such which goes right into Eclipse.

Fuck this movie. Fuck this franchise. The only reason I'd ever watch this shit in the theatre is if I had Amanda with me and we talked through the whole movie to drown out the inane dialogue. (The gay Volturi is laughing at Edward's pain. Bella's giving him an angry glare. It's not scary.) I want to see some other reviewers out there actually review this thing. Such as Spoony. That would be funny.

Anyway. I'm off. Good night, loves.

Thanksgiving day 2

2009-11-27T03:51:12Z

All right, so I'm back in the hotel room after a rather long day. We all went to the Highlander Inn (there can be only one) and it was full up with people. Oh, this is funny, the Highlander Inn also serves as a fishing and bait shop. >.> with super cheap prices for fishing gear. Anyway, so Jeremy sat down with me, papa, Mama Judy, Uncle Mike and his wife Lydia and we all ate for a few minutes before Jeremy had to leave because my poor cousin Jimmy had a tire go flat on him on the way over. (poor Jimmy!) Jeremy didn't get to eat until later when he came back with Jimmy.

After lunch, we all trooped over to the campsite where they were getting a fire going slowly. We took pictures of the six "Stones children" (Kathy, Jim, Dave, Judy, Mike and Don) and then the cousins got to be shoved together for a photo when my cousin Steve arrived with his wife Jane and their children Abigail and Spencer. Of course, this also included the British pair (Steve and Chris) who got to share the spotlight with us. XD It was funny. But, I've got photos of them, so I'll upload those when I get home. I don't have the cord to get the photos off my camera.

Carl and Garrett played with a soccer ball with Chris and Steve. I say play, really they were showing off, honestly. Especially Steve, the guy from Northern Ireland, who kept his hands in his pockets and popped the ball around like it was nothing. Chris was just as good at it, too. It was crazy.

Also, I ended up with Jimmy hitting off of my Glenn Beck book, though he wasn't the only one. I think it was either him or someone else that asked me "What are you reading that for?"

me: because I want to.

Lydia's response was nicer. She asked me who's book it was and when I said it was mine she said "Oh! I see."

He looked at the book and said "Oh, that has a lot of pictures in it. Must make it easier to read."

Me: oh... well... it's just got a lot of stuff in it as well as asides.

Also read a passage of something from the Nanny State chapter which it was the Nanny State prize for something about banning murder in one state for 40 hours before changing it to "promoting peace". -.o That killed my brain. .... Anyway, aside from that killing my brain, I read that allowed and I got someone saying "Yeah, because we all know he doesn't like peace."

me: *keeps trap shut to promote peace*

Oh, and while the burgers were cooking, Uncle Mike was talking to Jeff about the health care bill. (Uncle Mike's a family practitioner and he hates hates HATES the healthcare bill.) Aunt Christie cropped up after a while of listening Uncle Mike talk about what the bill would do to completely ruin our healthcare system entirely said "Mike, let's not talk politics today."

As it got darker, we ate hamburgers and roasted hotdogs on the fire and then ate s'mores. It was basically the first time I think Chris said he had ever had a s'more, though he knew the basic makings of one. Apparently, s'mores is a totally American thing. Didn't know that. Well, that's what he said, anyway. When it got too dark to see anyone unless they were by the fire, Carl and his buddies started playing with a glow in the dark frisbee. We finally headed back to the hotel after a while and now they're watching the UT/A&M game in Jim and Joyce's room. So far, UT is ahead. HOOK 'EM HORNS!

and apparently, my very liberal Uncle Kelvin, Aunt Kathy and Aunt Joyce all agree that Obama's a bad president. Unfortunately, that's not enough anymore. He's a DANGEROUS president in that he's DANGEROUS to US. He's doing shit on purpose.

Anyway, so that's been the day.

Thanksgiving day 1

2009-11-26T06:48:30Z

So today's been a little crazy. I drove Mama Judy and I to Burnett with the help of Papa telling me beforehand the direct route there. Then, we all sat around and waited at the Best Western for the other members of my family to arrive. Jeff and his wife Vanessa (you might remember her as the one that actually got snippy with me for demolishing Twilight in front of her) and their son Garrett came after Uncle Dave and Aunt Christie showed up, who came first. Aunt Joyce and Uncle Jim came rolling in, Carl showed up with two of his teammates from college (he's a runner in track). One was a ginger haired fellow named Steve and he's from Northern Ireland. The other fellow was Chris and he's from Scotland. So I got to hear a little of the pair talking to enjoy. (they weren't bad looking either, though, since they're runners, they were a bit stringy.)

We all have rooms next to each other in one long line of rooms, by the way.

So, we all trooped over to Inks Lake where we hung out with my cousin Steve and his wife Jane and their son Spencer and daughter Abigail for a while. Carl, Steve and Chris showed up and we trooped over to their camp where Uncle Don showed up. And then we all trekked behind each other looking for a place to eat before descending upon a poor, unsuspecting Ghatti's where we were pretty much the only people there eating for a while.

After dinner, we came back to the hotel and we played games. I came in later to play some Phase 10 with my cousin Jeremy, Jeff, Vanessa, Aunt Joyce, and some friend of the family I don't recognize. Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Boggle was being played while jokes were tossed around like rice at a wedding. Seriously, game time with these people is hilarious, especially if Uncle Jim or Aunt Joyce is involved. Uncle Jim tries to cheat and crack jokes about it and Aunt Joyce is vocal in her competitiveness.

Anyway, Aunt Joyce won, I was getting ahead quickly, though I kind of got lost in the first rounds as I relearned the damn game. (Last time I played it was back two years ago. I think I'm warranted some blunders.) Garrett took Vanessa's place and Jeremy had to go with his dad, Uncle Mike, to the camp site at Inks Lake before it shut down for the night.

So, overall, this has been a bit of a crazy day. Oh ho, but it'll get crazier tomorrow. All of us enjoying a nice Thanksgiving lunch together. Maybe it's a good thing that we don't have TVs out at the campsite, because we'd also be watching the football game.

*pats computer* good girl.

Stalkers. You've gotta love them.

2009-11-03T12:39:32Z

You've gotta love a stalker. (Link is to Facebook. If you have it I think you'll be able to read it.) The woman in that link is an all out stalker. They're like creepy little kids going around with school fund raisers and never giving up. Then, if you don't do what they want they start crying to get sympathy. (sounds familiar...)

and since this is my journal and I like keeping records, I'm going to put the whole conversation here.

Ehren has become friends with Jane Wheeler.

Marie Braymore: can i ask why...she she sent me a nasty email on yearbook to give up your grandfather...that wont happen

Ehren Hatten: Because she's a nice person.

Marie Braymore: i love you grandfather with my whole heart

Ehren Hatten: and he's in a coma and never coming out.

Marie Braymore: yeah that is why I talk to him on the phone...

Ehren Hatten: uh, no you don't.

Marie Braymore: really, I spoke to him a few days ago. why are you saying things like this....shit I got an email for Alie this morning

Ehren Hatten: I predicted you would say something like "Yeah, I did" and then you went and did it. I'm amazing like that, you know. You're incredible, and I mean that in not a good way. You keep hounding me for false sympathy and you manage to get it from others, but I have none for you. You keep insisting you have had a phone conversation with a man who is in a coma just a few days ago. I'm not stupid, I've seen your type before in my own mom, for the most part. It doesn't work on me. You're a little lying bitch and I've been quite patient enough with you in my humble opinion. You're an insidious little whore and I would love to go up to you and rip your tonsils out and that's putting my annoyance mildly. Go away and I hope you somehow manage to get over your stalker stage of your immature mentality.

Marie Braymore: wtf...you know your granfather and I were an item, what is your problem...i have the phone records for it...now why the nastiness....and I have done nothing to you...but be kind

No, dearie, you've been patronizing and trying to gain my sympathy. Just like you're doing now. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE A STALKER WHORE! : D

And before I delete her shit from my mail box I suppose I should put up her sympathy fishing PMs to me....

Marie Braymore September 6 at 3:28pm Report
why is there another account with your fathers pics....on yearbook...and alll his old friends...is this doyen again..

if this is your grandfather...then what is going on...why am i being lied too and why won't you answer me....i am sitting here crying my eyes out right now tin tin...this is not righ

Marie Braymore September 6 at 5:07pm Report
frig igot an email from ana....it is your father's account but he is using your granfathers pictures.....i have been so upset, not hearing or knowing....forgive me please...I love your grandfather so much hon...xoxox

Marie Braymore September 14 at 8:50pm Report
I just wanted to say hi....can I say i cant stop crying I miss him so much....I know you do too....I am praying to god every day that he brings his memory back and brings him home.....I wanted to apoligize for bugging before but you know how much I love him......I miss is laugh and voice.

Any time you want to actually stop acting like a psycho bitch you're welcome to talk to me. Also, don't call me Tin-Tin. I've told you before and you ignored me. Fucking stalker.

Follow Up.

2009-11-02T03:57:09Z

This is a follow-up.

Generally speaking I don't have any qualms with saying what's on my mind. That's why I don't friends lock my entries or even my journal and I allow anonymous commenting. I also value what people have to say usually and so I leave comments up even if I don't like them. It's a record. I like keeping records of things.

But seriously?

No, really... Seriously? Do you people honestly think I care one whit about you on my LJ? I usually try to respond to every question posed to me be it something that agrees with me or not, but when I see almost twenty or thirty comments all pretty much saying the same thing over and over again like some bizarre clone world, I start to realize that there is no way I could keep replying to each and every one of you because nothing I would ever say would make any sort of dent into that thick little head of yours. Nothing. I could give you all the evidence in the world, I could scan each of my notebooks and post up the pages, I could put up the transcripts I have and it wouldn't make any sort of difference. I'd still be talking to a very dim wall.

I've already said my piece before to one person I genuinely care about and we came to an understanding, ie, I sort of misinterpreted my memory of talking to a friend of mine that actually lives in England and this other friend lives in Scotland and she told me what I got wrong. My whole point was that a nation shouldn't be made to feel ashamed for their history, but, like we as individuals must do, should learn from these mistakes to better ourselves. I bet ya'll didn't even really bother to read that set of comments did you. And if you did, well congratulations, you saw my whole point about my beef with Great Britain now. I love Britain. I love it for its history, people, music, scenery, food; I just love Britain. I also love my own country, justifiably more so than I love any other country. I love my home state almost more than I love my country, too.

After the first few comments I finally just decided to just sit back and laugh at the mayhem of what almost looked like the whole of the Hetalia community on LJ coming out to protest me and tell me to Fuck Off the community. Seriously, people, just because you call me a bigot, just because you call me stupid, just because you call me racist or retarded or pretend to be America and Japan or other countries from Hetalia to say I'm crazy, doesn't mean I'm "GOING TO QUIT THE INTERNET FOREVER!!!111!" nor does it make you look any more credible. I watch things, I make mental records and remember a lot of things that most people would forget, entire conversations even. I've been doing it since I was a little kid. If you want something to be remembered I'll remember it. Now, granted, my memory isn't wholly perfect, but whose is?

So go ahead and rant and rail against me about how I'm immature, I don't have an argument, I don't have the balls to debate you, I don't have the information to back myself up, I'm against Obama because he's black, I'm a right-wing nutjob, I'm a sick and twisted individual, I have a personal vendetta against Obama (yeah, I do. I have a personal vendetta against anyone who tries to willfully and purposefully destroy my beloved country.), I'm homophobic, I'm bigoted, I'm crazy, I'm stupid, I'm retarded, I'm abusing Alfred and the other characters.... Go ahead and get it out of your system because it won't be going into mine.

Good night.

Hope ya'll had a good Halloween!

2009-11-02T03:27:30Z

I hope ya'll had a great Halloween, guys! I enjoyed myself immensely, but then I always love Halloween. I love decorating pumpkins and dressing up and putting on creepy music and trying to scare kids as they come up; I love it all! I have to ask something, though... when did kids get so lazy and parents so freakin' paranoid that they can't walk around door to door and must be driven to the houses? =A= I noticed this something awful yesterday. I saw car after car letting kids out and they'd go to houses in a small area and then jump back in the car. Dude, I walked all over the fucking neighborhood back when I lived on China Grove when I was a little kid and I went with my grandma. (My mom never went with me and papa tended to be the one to hand out candy I think.) We walked all over the neighborhood and I saw people in their twenties trick-or-treating as well sometimes, but they were in some awesome costumes too.

That's another thing, when did kids get so fucking lazy with their costumes? I mean, I know that buying a costume is easy, so I don't have a problem with that, but going out in just your regular clothes? I don't mind giving candy to guys my age if they want it, but at least buy a costume or make one. PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT! >.> So I gave some of these sorts the bottom of the barrel candy, the caramels and tootsie rolls I don't like eating at all. I liked this one kid, though, who went out, in 50 degree weather, wearing ripped up clothes and one very poor looking shoe, the other foot was entirely bare, and said he was a hobo. XD At least he put some effort out!

Another thing I keep noticing around here: WHAT IS IT WITH THESE PARENTS ALLOWING THEIR 12-16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTERS TO WEAR THE SLUTTY COSTUMES?! Good God!! I saw a slutty Snow White with platform shoes and she couldn't have been over 13 or 14. I saw a girl that couldn't have been more than 12 wearing a skirt so short that she didn't even have to bend over for her panties to show. =A= Last year, Amanda and I saw about four different girls wearing costumes that would put hookers to shame that were all about 14-16 years old. WTF IS THIS SHIT?! Have the parents become so lazy themselves that they can't be bothered to tell their daughters "no, you can't wear that" or if you want to be more creative/damaging "Yeah, you can wear that if you want to look like a hooker."

Anyway, enough ranting. I got a print out of the human transmutation circle and realized we had no chalk yesterday so I went out to the local HEB to get some. Unfortunately, apparently they don't even bother carrying chalk for chalkboards anymore. Weird. Anyway, so I got the chalk from Walmart but that took forever to do. It wasn't because they hid the chalk or anything, but because everyone in Bastrop was at the Walmart getting Halloween supplies. When I got home I set about putting that transmution circle on the driveway. Let me say that right now my legs are incredibly stiff; the backs of my thighs hurt like hell right now because I spent a good thirty minutes partially crouched down while I drew that damn circle and wrote things out on it. Oh, but it was worth it, despite the fact that the circle came out squished because I totally misjudged the area of the square I was using. (I noticed after I drew the inner circle that the square was really more of a rectangle and I was using the square as a sort of grid to be able to make the circle a bit straighter that I would have down otherwise if I did it without.)

Also, while drawing the circle, the chalk kept breaking whenever I got a new one out and then it would get whittled down to just a small amount and scrape my fingers while I was drawing. (I have a scrape on my middle finger that bled because of that, by the way.)

So with that done, I got Amanda after making a music CD for the car and picked up Amanda and took her back home. There we went about cleaning out the pumpkins and I carved the homunculus pumpkin. Meanwhile, Mama Judy and Papa ordered the pizzas and went to get them while we were outside. I went in to make the blood and didn't know Amanda would be carving the other pumpkin, but it doesn't matter. My design on it wasn't the best to begin with, but then I barely had much in mind for it. She did the mouth and nose and I did the eyes. I thought I would be clever and carve the eyes in a similar fashion to the homunculus pumpkin, but it didn't come out that way and--beh!--I decided it was good enough. It served its purpose. The main even was the homunculus. >:3

While I was still setting the pumpkins up with light and the fake blood I made the kids were starting to show up. I put the guts we pulled out of the pumpkins onto the circle and strung them along toward the pumpkin I set up with lights and then stuffed a bit of the guts into the mouth. Then I poured and spooned some of the blood and tried to make it look like the pumpkin likely dragged itself away or something, but I don't think it achieved quite that effect. I put some of the blood in its mouth, but the blood pooled inside and the little lights I use on these pumpkins are electric, so I had to move them around to one side away from the blood and later clean the two that got the goo on it off. -.o

Amanda and I got dressed in our costumes while the doorbell kept getting rung every five minutes. Mama Judy had to go out and get more candy for the bowl while I attempted to eat some dinner (pizza) before setting up a chair outside with the bowl and my stereo playing some spooky music I just happen to keep. (By the way, if you want some truly creepy music to listen to or to weird out your friends with, listen to the music of the band Inhale.) My hat kept getting skewed to the side whenever I moved my head and I couldn't wear the hat with my hair up, so there was no choice but to sit outside or get hot inside and have no time to sit down while the door bell got constantly rung. Poor Bear looked so confused.

Amanda and I sat out for a while, directing kids away from the mess of the circle so that they wouldn't A) destroy it and B) get the blood on their clothes. You would think a person would avoid a potentially sticky mess, but there were several kids trying to walk through it that I had to constantly remind to be careful about where they were walking and I'm not talking about the really little kids who just don't get it. The kids came in fucking DROVES. Cars were everywhere on the street and even one golf cart was going around too as well as one police vehicle. (I seem to recall one guy down the street is a cop.) Amanda decided that next year she was going to dress up as Jack Harkness if she could help it and borrow my grandma's rain coat again for the infamous Captain Jack Harkness military coat. I decided that if she was going to do that I should shoot for the 10th Doctor. (Unfortunately, I don't think I could find a suit to my liking and cheap enough. >.>)

Eventually Amanda got down on the grass and contorted her body to look like she was dead. She managed to scare a couple of older girls, I think, but the rest sort of just ignored her. I kept coming over and pretending to kick her into submission and shouting "I told you to stay down! I said stay down!" or I threw a box of candy at her just for the hell of it. Eventually I asked Mama Judy to get my wand out and I held onto that while I handed out candy. She eventually got back into her seat near me and we started cracking jokes about the stereo being possessed with the devil. ("We don't know what's wrong with it. We were just playing Miley Cirus and then it started acting funky. We think it's possessed!")

And the things the kids said about my display. HAHAHA! Oh God... One kid, a boy, said, "That's gross! That's not even cool, that's just gross!" Others kept asking what the heck was on the driveway.

Kid 1: what's that on the ground?
me: blood. I sacrificed a chicken.

Kid2: What did you do to the pumpkin?
me: : )

Kid3: What is that stuff?
me: blood. The Pumpkin bit me so I had to deal with it. (see kid 2 for the response)

Kid4: What is that stuff? It looks like ketchup... no wait, more like jelly or something.
me: I made a sacrifice earlier and it congealed.

You get the picture. XD In short, we had a fucking BLAST. Later we watched a couple of movies I have on a four movie DVD I got a little while back for $5 at Walmart (what it's worth really) with movies like Mortuary (Stupid, but fun), Salvage (uncomfortable to the fucking extreme), Memory (Haven't watched it yet), and Bloody Mary (So stupid that I almost laugh at it). After that was The Exorcism of Emily Rose which Amanda and I enjoyed watching. The best part came when Alexiel got off the internet, though.

Alexiel called me up about 3 or 4 in the morning on my cellphone and told me about this drunken phone call she got from some guy she had no idea who the heck he was. He said he wanted some girl to be let into Alexiel's sorority, except that Alexiel's not in a sorority at all. And then he kept slurring on about how Alexiel was so "real" and so "gorgeous" and how they should go see each other one dark night and get "negatory". And then Alexiel started tiredly rambling about the history of France from the Napoleonic era to World War II and kept talking until I finally had to tell her that I was quickly losing minutes and it was late and she should get to sleep.

And so ends the Halloween fun of 2009.

As a result of that conversation, by the way, Alexiel suggested someone write Arthur from Hetalia drunkenly calling up various nations and telling them to fuck off before hitting on India and saying how she was so "real" and so "gorgeous". lol so I did it.

Night.

I can see a certain American staring in bewilderment.

2009-10-29T00:18:50Z

I'm currently loving Charles Krauthammer's laying the smackdown on Obama. God he's ugly, but he knows his stuff! (Yes, this is from my notes yesterday, which I took today.)

"Well, it does, of course, impress us with the urgency of the matter and how it has to be decided, but I want to point out one thing about what Obama had said when he talked about the long years of 'drift'. There is something truly disgusting about the way he can not refrain from attacking Bush when he's being defensive about himself. I mean it's beyond disgraceful here. He is--he won election a year ago. He became the commander-in-chief two months later. He announced his own strategy--not the Bush strategy, his strategy--six months ago and it wasn't off-handed; it was a major address with the secretary of defense and the secretary of state standing with him. And now he's still talking about the 'drift' in the Bush years. What's happening today is not a 'drift' so called in the Bush years, it's because of the drift in his years. It's because of the flaws in his own strategy, which is why he is now re-examining. He has every right, as commander-in-chief to re-examine his own strategy, but he ought to be honest, forthright, and courageous enough as a resident to simply say 'I'm rethinking the strategy I adopted six months ago.' And not once again, child-like, attack his predecessor."

This was in response to Obama saying "We are finally getting Afghan policy right after long years of drift."

Yeah? Really? I find it interesting that we're losing more troops under your care, Obama, than when Bush was in office. I may not like what he did those last days, in fact those days sort of really annoyed me and made me wonder if he'd given up the ghost of trying to keep up his previous good work before hand, but he did, no doubt, keep us safer from terrorism attacks than Obama is. Why? Well, first off he didn't sit on his thumbs and kick his heels going "It's that guy's fault. He started it. It's not my fault." No, he went hard after the terrorists and they were properly terrified of America. Now, they're not. Why? To every other country Obama is weak. To his own people he's divisive and he's a total liar. He's harder on his own people than he is on the other countries. There's something wrong here~

He says good things...

Obama: "Small businesses have always been the engine of our economy, creating 65% of all new jobs over the last decade and a half and they must be at the forefront of our economy. That's why the recovery act was designed to help small businesses expand and create jobs." October 24, 2009

and then he does the complete opposite.

Wilmington, Delaware will be reopening a GM plant, right in Joe Biden's home town. The funds will be coming from Stimulus. Okay, so the small businesses make up 80% of the economy, not 65% at worst, and you're trying to create jobs in a big business that has direct connection to your vice president's interests. >.> Now, this is not to say that big businesses aren't good, I'm just saying that if the bigger problem is helping small business, wouldn't it therefore be more pertinent to help the small businesses?

Oh ho, and don't you just love Barney Frank and his gravelly, horribly voice saying things like "We will be providing a mechanism for putting non-bank financial institutions out of everybody's misery. There will be death panels enacted by this congress, but they will be for non-bank financial institutions that will not be considered too big to die. And I say that because we have this euphemism that we are going to be resolving these institutions. It has not been my experience that when someone says that they are going to resolve something they kill it. We are talking about dissolution, not resolution. We are talking about making it unpleasant for the entities." September 23, 2009

This is the same man who said Franny Mae and Freddy Mac had nothing wrong with them. Yeah, I trust him so much.

Nancy Pelosi is always good for a chuckle. (Is it just me or does she resemble a skull that's been painted to look like a face?)

Pelosi: "I do think that when people think of it as their option, their consumer option, because public is being misinterpreted as being something that is paid for by tax payer dollars--which it isn't." October 26, 2009

Yeah, very convincing, Pelosi. So very convincing. Let me ask you this then, Mrs. Pelosi: where does the money come from if not the tax payer if it is in fact a public option, which you say it is, but you prefer using a different term for? Oops, there goes my Earth logic again! Sorry, I just happen to be the sort of kid magicians loathe because I watch how the trick is done and point it out without thinking. But then again, I used to dabble in magic tricks too.

Oh ho, and the clincher. The thing that I'm very sure that it isn't a certain American that's scratching his head in befuddlement, but also a dear older brother of his who happens to be an Englishman is likely staring and about ready to blow his stack if he didn't have some composure left. I see this and I really would like to just hurt someone, honestly.

Lord Nicholas Stern, the U.K. Climate Chief: "Meat is a wasteful use of water and creates a lot of greenhouse gases. It puts enormous pressure on the world's resources. A vegitarian diet is better."

Lord Nicholas Stern: "I am 61 now and attitudes towards drinking and driving have changed radically since I was a student. People change their notion of what is responsible."

Lord Nicholas Stern: "A successful deal at the Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen in December would lead to soaring costs for meat and other foods that generate large quantities of greenhouse gases."
The Times October 27, 2009

Funny, Obama said something similar. "Under my plan of Cap and Trade system, electricity rates will necessarily skyrocket."

Alright, now we're getting somewhere. One of Obama's czars, Cass Sunstein, has already said that the way to effect these changes was not to outright outlaw things, since that would create an uproar, but that they would nudge people by making things so expensive for them that they would have no choice but to do what they want of them. >.> Those who see this happening now, raise your hands. Yeah, I thought so.

In an interview with PBS in April of 2007 a guy who was in with the U.N. IPCC (United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) had the guy admitting that he and his pals in the IPCC rigged the hearing back in 1988.

"We called the Weather Bureau and found out what historically is the hottest day of the summer. Well, it was June 6th or June 9th; whatever it was. So we scheduled the hearing that day and--BINGO--it was the hottest day on record in Washington or close to it."

interviewer: "Did you also alter the temperature in the hearing room that day?"

Then the guy laughs while he speaks saying, "What we did was went in the night before and opened all the windows, I will admit. Right. So that the air conditioning wasn't working inside the room and, so, when the hearing occurred there was not only bliss, which is television cameras and double figures, but it was really hot. The wonderful Jim Hansen was wiping his brow at the table at the hearing, at the witness table, and giving this remarkable testimony."

Jim Hansen: "Number one, the Earth is warmer in 1988 than any time in the history of instrumental measurements."

oAo Sorry, let me sit in bewilderment at the events I've recorded a moment. My inner America is scratching his head and thinking "Dude, what the fuck is this shit?" And before you ask, those of you who watch Glenn Beck, yes, I take notes on Glenn Beck and most of these are from Glenn Beck yesterday. I take out the opinion parts of his reporting in my notes and put down mostly raw quotes he's got by transcribing what I hear in my headphones. By hand. I've got three full of notes and a new one that's filling up quickly. I've gone through several pens to the point where I just get the ink and save the pen body. It's cheaper that way.

I just can't get out of my head the image of Alfred eating a burger and someone screaming "YOU'RE POLLUTING THE EARTH, YOU CRETIN!"

Alfred F. Jones (America): D: eh? Wait... huh? It's... just a burger...
person: D< you're destroying the Earth with the farms that house the cows you're eating in that burger! It creates CO2 in the atmosphere and helps global warming!
Alf: =3=;; eeh... isn't CO2 something that plants use to stay alive? o3o Y'know... like... like they're lungs for our lungs and stuff.
person: shut up! You're contributing to the problem!
Alf: ):

): Please, think of Alfred! We don't want to see him cry because he lost his burgers and hotdogs! That'd be sad!
Also, I'd like to say, again, a happy "hello" to my readers on live journal! ^^ Howdy!

I'm ashamed of my generation.

2009-10-28T03:42:40Z

My generation and those younger than me are the "me" generation. I've heard it before, but never before have I see it so blatantly illustrated as I have this. Whatever happened to working and earning respect? Working and earning your place in the world?

I just heard yesterday that there are people my age or younger entering the workforce and demanding that they get higher pay or get certain perks that are usually associated with people who do well at their job and earn those rights by way of being faithful to the company and working for it. Even better than that, they want fewer hours for more pay. Figure that one out. -.o

And then I see this letter to the editor of Time Magazine and I want to vomit.

"I had to wait through eight years of an administration that brought this country to the brink. Frankowski should sit down quietly while the rest of us get to the task of cleaning up Bush's mess. Besides, this health care debate isn't about those over 30; it's about the millions of uninsured, recently graduated young people saddled with loans we can't imagine paying off, who are sick and tired of living in an abyss created by our elders' stupidity. Obama would be smart to focus on college towns. Step aside, grandma. We want health care, and we want it now." from Agnieszka Marczak from Lincoln, Rhode Island.

How angry at your older relatives do you have to be to be that callous and uncaring toward them? The only funny thing out of that mess is that likely that person isn't going to get Christmas or birthday presents for the rest of their life if their older relatives saw that, or, hell, even their parents.

Let's break this down. There is no free healthcare and if you don't have it then you are fined every year $750. That fine will increase as this thing is kept in place, because the money for it will be leeched out fast just to pay for it. It's unsustainable. It makes no reasonable sense whatsoever to keep trying to make it happen when all that is going to happen is that we're all going to become peons to the great machine that is the public option.

You want to see public health care in action? Look at Massachusetts. They've got public health care and in 3 years they've already run out of money and are in the rationing stage of it. What is rationing? That's when a government official or officials form a sort of panel to regulate whether or not you are important enough to get the health care you require or if you can be held off of it for a while. Older people are therefore hit worst because, why? Because they're not feeding into the system as much as the younger more able bodied people and they require far more medical attention than the younger healthier people. And even if you're young and healthy you still get turned down if your sickness or injury appears to be minor enough, never mind the fact that it might be a symptom of a bigger problem. In this case doing nothing is far better than passing that damn bill.

Oh, and those guys don't even have the balls to admit to the rest of the world that this is what they want. No, instead they're trying to pass five separate bills that they will then combine into the big bad health care problem that they want. You won't die if you don't have health insurance either. The hospitals are already required to treat you if you don't have health insurance. You can also pay the doctors directly at clinics. In fact, as I recall, most doctors would prefer that. I don't know, maybe I'll have to ask my uncle Mike who is a family practitioner.

And Al Gore needs to freakin' disappear off the face of the planet with Pelosi, Reid and John Kerry. And I hope McCain fucking falls into a deep abyss reserved for traitors and betrayers.

Al Gore to highschool or middle school students: "There are some things about our world that you know, that older people don't know." January 9, 2009

Uh.... what? What do they know that older people don't, well, outside of using computers, of course. (I still have to remind Papa on how to copy and paste things. -.o ) What do they know that older people don't? Twilight? Oh yeah, that doesn't feed into the "me me me" problem does it!

How about the horror I saw when Obama spoke to Joe the Plumber and then Joe the Plumber was persecuted?

Obama: "It's not that I want to punish your success, I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind you; that they've got a chance at success too--I think that when you spread the wealth around it's good for everybody." October 12, 2008

see? No socialism there at all. See, profits are bad and need to be given to everyone else, never mind if you want to or not. It's not charity unless you make someone do it! /sarcasm

"Guess what this liberal would be all about? This liberal will be all about socialize--ah--um--the government running all of your companies." May 22, 2008 (I would name the woman who said this except I couldn't read her name from the angle it was presented. I think it said "_____ Jackson Lee".)

Rahm Emanuel: "You never want a serious crisis to go to waste." November 19, 2008

Oh, that's not telling at all, is it, Rahmy dearie? What did I say about using crises to further your agenda?

Hilary Clinton: "The other day the oil companies reported the highest profits in the history of the world. I want to take those profits and I want to put them into a strategic energy fund." February 2, 2007

Bad profitses! Evil profitses! Golum! We musts not trusts the profitses!

Behold the epitome of the "me" generation's fuel. Nothing else matters except what you get out of it and who cares about the future. Future? What future? That's so 1950s, man! The future's now, dude!

How fucked in the head do you have to be to not want companies to do well? That could very well be your company that's doing well. That could be your friend's company doing well. That could be your father's, brother's, mother's, sister's, aunt's, uncle's, neighbor's company. It goes under then who will hire you and pay you for work? The government? Oh, oops... Bad Ehren!

And don't listen to those people who tell you that the American people are revolting! shhhh! Look over here at me, I'm the one telling you everything is all right and those people are just the ignorant masses collecting to give their radical right wing rhetoric. They're an angry mob sent out by the insurance companies and Glenn Beck and funded by them to protest progress. They're just stupid, really, so don't worry about them. They're racists, bigots and annoying, but that's free speech for you. Don't worry, we'll shut them up eventually. Oh, and by the way, that won't affect you who support me.

And so I leave you, my lovely readers. And to those who read my journal on Live Journal... HELLO! ^^ *wave*

Anonymice hate mail!

2009-10-27T05:56:09Z

You must love anonymice. Seriously. These people make life so very interesting. Outside of the fact that these people don’t even bother to give a name or something, or if they have an account, log in and actually be a real person to me; these people are comical and I felt that if I’m going to get hate mail I might as well make it good. After all, I can’t answer them directly since they clearly left me nothing to reply to. So, you guys get to enjoy the absurdity with me! (Time to turn on the Hymn to Red October!)

Story: APH: The American People
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Anon ()
-------------------

lol wut
-------------------

And round one of the anonymice trying to tell me that I’m ignorant and can’t write starts!

Story: APH: The American People
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Anonymous ()
-------------------

Okay honey what?

"Why are you white?" I don't think ANY world leader would say that to their
personification of their country. I know this is your fic and all but
seriously: Do you really think that the president would say that? In all
seriousness, can you really think that? Or are you so far up on you high horse
that you can't think of that?

And you want the world to know about those tea parties. Really? They were
displays of pure ignorance of the people of our country. Yes they were
displays of "Free Speech" but it was hateful free speech of ignorant people.

I really don't like how you use America to voice your opinions. Since he is
America, he has everyone on mind and doesn't really pick sides, or a party, or
one person. He has EVERYONE ON MIND.
-------------------

Outside of the fact that you don’t even leave a name, or if you have an account you didn’t bother to log in…Obama would. He said himself in one of his own books that he made certain he made friends with black supremacist types and socialists and Marxists and radical feminists. He’s especially effective in speaking to one group of people one way while completely sounding different to another group. Such as talking to a group mostly comprised of white people to that of a group mostly composed to black people; he switches independently in a fashion that might be comical if it wasn’t so frightening to me. He’s a walking Saturday Night Live sketch!

And saying the people who go to Tea Parties are ignorant is basically saying that every single working Joe around is an ignorant little person who shouldn’t even be allowed to vote—oops, that’s what you really think, isn’t it? Judging by the way you call them being totally ignorant I would guess you’re the sort that cheered on the protesters during Bush’s term in office about the war and Lord knows what else. The people at the Tea Parties are you (well, not you), me, your neighbor with the dog, your neighbor with the ten cats everywhere, your brother, your sister, your mother, your father, you uncle, your aunt, your cousin, your fifth cousin with the gimpy leg; the tea party protesters are everyone! It’s Joe the Plumber all over again. The “Main Stream Media” attacks them as irrelevant and ignorant and you just followed in line with that statement alone. Congratulations, sheep. Baaaah~

And, yes, America is everyone. You notice how he doesn’t want to believe his own president actually seems to want to do harm to him? You didn’t notice that he only starts really starting to get scared and paranoid and later despondent after having this guy constantly tell him one thing and then do another? Gee, I think that’s what people have also been noticing. You’re a minority. The majority of people are starting to realize this guy’s not all he’s cracked up to be and quite possibly the most dangerous thing to our republic since… ever. We’ve never had an internal enemy before and the prospect of such is very bewildering to many, including me, but I will not stand idly by while my beloved country is taken over, beaten and raped and then left for dead while a new Socialist or Fascist government takes hold. That’s what we’re getting and it isn’t ignorance that drives this. It’s from at least a year and a half’s worth of seeing things that I never really ever though would actually happen. Yeah, I knew it could, but it actually happening was like something from a conspiracy story novel.

So, again, congratulations on giving me a good laugh; I appreciate it!
Story: APH: The American People
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: anon ()
-------------------

using characters as your own personal soap box to support YOUR opinions,
especially when the character in question is Alfred, who represents ALL of
America, is so incredibly stupid
-------------------

As I said at the beginning of at least one of these stories I find it is a lot easier to illustrate effectively just how dire things are in this country and the events in the news to have someone react to it. Alfred is perfect for this because he is America. America, typically, is a very conservative nation, no matter who’s in power, so it’s not stupid to reason that he would be very conservative in his ideology and his states would be taking on the other characteristics of the people that are in them. We have been pulled away from those conservative ideals by people who would rather America not be America.

Let me see if I can make that a bit clearer.

America is America; with strong, willful rebels at heart that really just want to be left alone to their own devices and not have an out of control government telling what they can and can’t do. America has been pulled toward the total governmental control since, I think, the 1960s, which most of Europe has, if not in part. I could tell you exactly what the next moves of Obama and congress will make simply by what I know about them and their general ideology.

How to take over the American government from the inside out without any blood shed. The American people prefer to have the government stay out of their business and would really just like to move on and do things their own way. This sort of thing makes it easy to go under the radar and slowly take away various parts of their freedoms without their knowledge. Americans are also incredibly generous sorts of people, volunteering and giving of themselves to others in need. So say that whatever policy you’re trying to pass is not going to be invasive and that it will help a certain type of people or something and the Americans will immediately fall in line and say “I’d like to help.”

Then, start taking over their education. Teach the children what you want them to think and they will fall in line and create more children later that will take the same classes and think the same way. Hitler himself said “Give me the children and I will control the future.” What has happened? In colleges you get a concentration of professors who are so “left” that if you disagree with what they try to teach you then you get a bad grade. Given you’re paying for this class and you need it for your degree that’s a powerful incentive to just fall in line. In the public school systems you get teachers of the same type.

Remember, the whole goal of taking over the government in this fashion is control.

When dissent is voiced you start claiming that that person or that group of people is ignorant or they’re misinformed or they’re stupid. You say they’re racists, bigots, homophobes. You say they’re dangerous and an angry mob. And then you, as the leader, shut up and let the congressmen and the media start echoing it and distance yourself so that you don’t seem like you’re part of it.

You nibble at the freedoms, you take over the children, you tell the people that there’s one emergency after another, or just take advantage of relative emergencies at hand, and squash dissent; then you destroy the free market. You flood the free market with printed money and collapse the monetary system so that everyone must then have to start over from scratch and you will have a perfect plan laid out for them and they will clamber after it because you’ve guaranteed it’s a quick fix.

Then you converge on the thing that keeps you from out right taking control of everything: the constitution. See, you’ve already nibbled at the rights of the people, but you can’t outright take out the constitution because the people will notice then what you’re doing for certain and revolt. So you secretly take it out, perhaps by giving away the American sovereignty to the Unite Nations in a Climate Change Treaty that will nullify the U.S. constitution without fail. You can’t back out of the treaty without the other nations giving their permission and since the U.S. will be a big cash cow for these other nations they won’t let the U.S. go willingly.

In a word we’re fucked unless we start letting the people in power know that if they don’t stop doing this shit to us then we will pull out our guns, if they’re legal or not, and take our country back via another Revolution. Unfortunately, I am beginning to feel we might have to resort to that last resort option. However, you can rest assured that you’ll likely be looked over because you’ll likely be cowering in a hole while everyone else does the work for you.

Story: Axis Powers Hetalia: Worse and Worse
Chapter: 1. Part One

From: Anon ()
-------------------

Best humor fic ever. I laughed plenty.
-------------------

Glad you found it so amusing! ^^

Story: Axis Powers Hetalia: It Happens Again
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: No ()
-------------------

"Don’t ** with Texas."

Why, what're gonna do, sit on me?
-------------------

Ouch. I’m so wounded by your rather childish sense of humor! Oh!

Story: Axis Powers Hetalia: Worse and Worse
Chapter: 3. Part Three

From: Anon ()
-------------------

I'm impressed; you've managed to insult not only Canada, England, Scotland
and Wales, but also your own country. Perhaps next time you want to make a
political statement, you should do some research on the subject first.
-------------------

I have. It’s called watching the news. You should do it sometime. Oh wait, I take it back, that might actually involve your brain. Sorry.

Story: Axis Powers Hetalia: Worse and Worse
Chapter: 1. Part One

From: norwayskawaiigurl ()
-------------------

lolwat
-------------------

At least you left a name; not that you’re very original.

Story: APH: The American People
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Anon ()
-------------------

Having certain words in bold is a particularly effective idea - it clearly
draws the reader's attention to your stupidity.
-------------------

lol Apparently you’ve never heard of someone putting emphasis on their own words in speech or you grew up entirely on the internet when people write in ALL CAPS to emphasis something in their speech.

Story: APH: The American People
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: I <3 Flags ()
-------------------

Life must be so hard for you.
-------------------

Hello, I Heart Flags! Thanks for the comment! It’s good to see people who enjoy my work as much as you do!

Story: Axis Powers Hetalia: Worse and Worse
Chapter: 1. Part One

From: . ()
-------------------

most craptular story ever!
-------------------

Thanks, Period and Parentheses! Thanks for the comment! I love it when people tell me how wonderful my stories are! ^^

Story: Axis Powers Hetalia: Worse and Worse
Chapter: 1. Part One

From: Someone ()
-------------------

Please don't misrepresent Britain to serve your own agenda. We have a public
health care system over here and we're very happy with it. I wouldn't trade
our system for yours for a million dollars. Obama is also very popular over
here, so I doubt England would feel the way he does about him that he does in
your fic; he's more likely to be friendly to him in fact.
Also, not every female character has to be described as 'beautiful' to be
worthwhile. You're entering mary-sue territory with those descriptions.
I enjoyed some of your story, but please, next time, do more research. Don't
assume every main character would share your views.
-------------------

Given that I’ve seen a great many people who come from Britain telling the U.S. to never let ourselves be put under the same style of government that ya’ll have now, I think that’s like saying all of the U.S. is pro-Obama. I’ve heard some interesting stuff from a English guy I know about how your flag was almost changed from the cross of St. George to something yellow so as to not be “offensive” to some group of people, but clearly that thankfully never went through. Or about flags and anything essentially British or English is taken out of things so as to not be “offensive”.

And public healthcare is not good no matter how you put it. Let’s look at that one logically. Public health care is public and to mandate the people to all have healthcare while also putting severe taxes on health insurance companies that give better care than that of the universal care system would effectively starve the insurance companies to death because they’d be spending most of their money on the government taxation. Likewise, the lesser companies would have to bump up their service to be on par with the government regulation of what healthcare insurance has, so that would kill them as well because they’d lose money and die of starvation as well. Thus, you will end up with people either on the public system or paying a penalty every year for not having any health care at all. Put into it also that if the government controls the healthcare system then it can also dictate what you can and can’t do to lower your health care cost such as candy, soda, or guns. Oh! Oops, wasn’t supposed to mention the guns! Bad Ehren!

Now, with all of that you also have one big, bad problem: where does the money come from? The people. If it’s not an insurance company being deprived of their profits, or the hospitals given penalties, you have to make the people pay more and more to sustain the unsustainable healthcare system. That means higher taxes and higher costs. Put into that that also have the issue of the government flooding the market with useless money that just inflates and cripples the monetary system to the point of collapsing, you’ve got a nice spell for disaster.

Oh and let’s not forget that when you’re “too old” that you’re not as big a priority to the government because you’re “too old” to work and thus feed into the system. Or you’re too sick to feed into the system. Or if you’re too crippled to feed into the system. Oops, there goes grandma. See, she wasn’t that necessary to the system because she was retired and it really doesn’t make much sense to let her keep on living when she can’t contribute.

If I’m offensive to your English sensibilities then you should be offended. You should be offended by what has been done to you like I am. I’m incredibly offended that Britain’s government has fallen as far as it has into the cesspool of political correctness and governmental regulation that it has. I’m offended that you’re being told you’re offensive by Muslims in your own borders for flying the Union Jack on something or you have pigs somewhere or pork listed on a menu. I’m offended that you have radicals telling you that you can’t do one thing or another because it could be offensive to some other nation. Who cares? You certainly shouldn’t! You’re Great Britain! Act like it! You were an empire! You ruled the fucking world! Act like it!

Story: APH: The American People
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Ela ()
-------------------

GTFO of this fandom.
Try to learn some history, it's good for your brain
-------------------

I have learned history, more than you will ever learn in the public school system. Ever. I’ve had it hammered into my brain from an early age; I have a fascination with it in fact to the point that when I forget something I get very upset and start researching what information I’m missing to refresh myself.

Tah-tah~!

For the love of God and all that's Holy... o.o

2009-10-21T04:38:46Z

Generally speaking I would reveal much of what I learn through the eyes of Alfred F. Jones, since having his point of view helps to illustrate better what is happening than me just telling you, but I have so much going through my head I don't honestly know where to start. I write notes and have three notebooks full of them already from just the past several weeks of news alone. Yes, I have some The Witch's Son and The Dark Queen and Tales From South Austin and Twilight in them, but the majority of things in these note books are notes on the news just to make sense of everything. It's like it's one gigantic CLUE game and you need a chart to keep track of who was where and when and with what. I thought about typing up my notes for my journal, but then I realized that'd take to long. I want to write more Axis Powers Hetalia stuff with Alfred but I don't know where to start. So, I give you some videos, which you need to see. If you don't watch Glenn Beck and think he's some sort of crazy loon, try watching him a while. I'll give you entire episodes to do it with here. If you think Fox News is not a news organization like CNN, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, then you would be right to the extent that Fox is the only one reporting anything.

If you've ever watched Babylon 5, then this should remind you very strongly of the president of the Earth Alliance taking over ISN news forcibly and then putting in place people would only speak what the president and his administration wanted the people to know. (No, we haven't had a hostile take over of Fox yet, but I can bet that that won't be for long.) The tearful monologue of the news reporter who came back on the air when ISN news agency was finally taken out from under the thumb of the president when he assassinated himself and tried to scorch Earth with her own defense grid would bring tears to your eyes as well.

"Hello. I want to welcome back our viewers. We've been gone a long time. Over a year since ISN was captured by elite forces sent by President Clark. Over a year since Martial Law was declared. Many of us and our associates at other networks were imprisoned, interrogated, even killed. All that changed last night. At 1:45 am, Earth Standard Time, a multi-planetary force led by ships loyal to a free Earth engaged Clark's forces directly. Under the command of John Sheridan, the incoming forces disabled or destroyed their opposition, then prevented further destruction by taking out the planetary defense grid, whose lethal power was being turned toward Earth. Earthgov is still working to compile the names of those injured or killed on either side of the battle. If you have family members who may have been involved, you can request information from a special EarthForce commline. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those injured on both sides. We are equally sons and daughters of Earth. And in the coming months, we must continue to remember that, if we are to heal and move on."

I remember back during Obama's campaign thinking that the guy was very sincere and that truthfulness was very refreshing to me. And then I began to listen to him and to actually pay attention to what he not only said but what he did. I don't think many people did that initially and only now are starting to. I remember seeing grown women crying at his speeches, fainting, practically having orgasms right there in their seats from him just talking and I felt a sudden shiver go down my spine in realization. This man is dangerous, more dangerous than anything we've ever had in the U.S. You see, Hitler had similar qualities and like Hitler Obama also shares a few things like his insidious way of dealing revenge against those who don't agree with him. Hitler let his death squads go out in the night and kill people who dissented or those who were undesirable. Meanwhile, he stood off to the side and distanced himself from it so he wouldn't have the blame on himself. Likewise, Obama stands off to the side while people working for him do the dirty work of telling other news networks to ignore Fox News, stifle their potency, and otherwise claim they're not a legitimate news network so that no one else will pay attention to them and starve them out.

But that's just one thing.

I said back in 2008 when Obama was still campaigning that the easiest way to infiltrate and destroy America was from the inside out. First you nibble at the edges while distracting the people with other things, that way they don't see that they're being nibbled at. Kind of like a magician pulling your attention away from the stage hands pulling the elephant off the stage so you don't see the switch off in action. You keep nibbling; here and there from all sides converging on the one thing that stops you from a total take over of America: the constitution. Obama has already said he doesn't like the constitution in the past, claimed it was a document of "negative rights", because it didn't say what government could do for you, just what it CAN'T do to you. One of his Czars, Cass Sustein, said he wasn't going to ban hunting or ban guns, but in another thing he said that the government should nudge people to do what they want. What better way to nudge people to do what you want by hiking up health insurance premiums for things that make you less healthy like twinkies, sodas or guns.

This user has entire episodes of Glenn Beck for you to watch.

Here are just Monday's and Today's.

Monday 10-19-09
Glenn Beck
1 2 3 4 5

Tuesday 10-20-09
Glenn Beck
1 2 3 4 5

Anita Dunn saying that "we controlled the media" during the Obama campaign. The user is ConservativeNewMedia on youtube.

AmericasNewsToday1 has also a bunch of videos that are recorded from the day's news which isn't always from Fox. Sometimes it's a local news report from someplace like, say, Albany, Oregon. If you have not seen this, Lord Mockton talking about the Global Warming Treaty, then you NEED to. Also, this guy puts up a lot of good stuff, too.

Why do I do this? This needs to be spread. This needs to go the way of high school rumors and SPREAD LIKE A BIBLICAL PLAGUE. Send videos, or entire youtube channels, to your facebook and put them on your profile, put them on myspace, on twitter, on LiveJournal, on DeviantArt, on Digg, in Email, in ANYTHING so long as it gets out and continues moving. I don't want a fight on our hands, that's why we need to inform people today so we can try for a peaceful way of getting our representative and senators, our governors, to finally get the message that we will not stop, we will not die, we will not go quietly and we will not surrender. We are America!! And by God we will LIVE!

Great God Almighty....

2009-10-20T03:26:15Z

WATCH THIS NOW.

You need to see this if you haven't already heard of it. You need to see this because you can't stand by idly and wait until it's on us to find out that it's true. Send it on, pass it on, through whatever outlet you have to you, and let us band together to stop this from happening. I keep saying that the things going on can only end in a fight; that, instead of ousting the bastard peacefully as we are meant to be able to through our laws and constitution, we might actually have to take up arms and fight for real. This WILL result in a fight, it WILL result in bloodshed to get rid of it IF we do not do something to stop it! If it goes through then we might very well have to fight most of the WORLD to be able to be free from it.

Tsundere with yandere, glasses and boobs.

2009-10-20T00:25:12Z

Tsundere (Harsh Outside-Gentle Inside)
[x] You come off as sort of aloof to other people.
[x] In public, you intentionally refrain from showing much weakness.
[x] You have a secret obsession with something cute.
[x] You pretend that you hate your crush even though you really love him/her.
[x] You blush when people point out your sensitivities. (as well as get defensive.)
[x] You blush when people tell sexual jokes. (and laugh very loudly)
Total: 6

Yandere (Gentle Outside-Harsh Inside)
[x] You’re very sweet and kind in public.
[ ] When romance becomes a topic of discussion, people say your personality changes drastically.
[x] You know some sort of martial art, swordplay, or otherwise.
[x] You have a crush who you’d literally kill for.
[x] You have a pet-peeve that makes you snap.
[ ] Schizophrenic?
Total: 4

Meganekko (Girl-with-Glasses Character)
[x] You have glasses.
[x] You can sometimes be clumsy, ditzy, or absent-minded.
[ ] You are always very polite in your speech.
[x] You are fairly intelligent in some field.
[ ] You take discipline seriously.
[x] You have some sort of fetish for something.
Total: 4

Tsukkomi (Angry Guy)
[x] You have a friend who often makes dumb or embarrassing remarks.
[x] You smack/beat up this friend in some way.
[ ] You do your best to maintain a calm facade, only to be thwarted by this friend.
[ ] If you and your friend were a yin-yang, you’d be the “yin"
[x] You swear a lot.
[ ] You try to bring out the more serious side of your ridiculous friend.
Total: 3

Boke (Dumb Guy)
[x] You often make silly or embarrassing comments.
[x] You like annoying the heck out of your best friend.
[ ] You often get beaten up by your friend in some way, but you take it in good stride.
[ ] If you and your friend were a yin-yang, you’d be the “yang”.
[x] You are normally very laid back and carefree.
[ ] You try to bring out the happier side of your angry friend.
Total: 3

Nadeshiko (Perfect Wife)
[ ] You are always, almost overly, polite.
[x] You love traditional Japanese culture.
[ ] You often wear either a kimono, yukata
[x] You’re an excellent cook. (well, that would be overstating my abilities. I learn cooking from my grandpa mostly who is a Cordon Bleu chef trained in France.)
[ ] You are hardly ever angry.
[ ] You have really long hair.
Total: 2

Sexy Character
[x] Your bust/package is...formidable.
[ ] You like making sexual innuendos.
[ ] You encourage trips to the beach, pool, or onsen (hot springs).
[ ] There are some sexual things that you are ignorant to or need explained to you.
[ ] You’re an expert cosplayer.
[ ] You like the taste of alcohol.
Total: 1

Loli/Shota Character
[x] You like sweets or chocolate.
[x] You adore cute things and/or the word “kawaii”.
[ ] You use Japanese suffixes like “-chan,” “-tan,” “-sempai,” etc...
[ ] You add unnecessary suffixes to the ends of your sentences, like “nyo,” “nyu,” “un,” etc...etc~~~
[ ] You are considered gullible or naive.
[ ] You have a tall/powerful friend who protects you.
Total: 2

Verdict: Tsundere with yandere, glasses and boobs.

Obama's got the Nobel. Fucking hell...

2009-10-09T12:06:08Z

I'm completely dumbfounded. Although, honestly, I shouldn't be THAT surprised, given the fact that "the world hates America". Obama's got the Nobel Peace Prize. I want to hurt something right now. This is utter bullshit! The guy's done nothing good of any note at all! He and his cronies have only completely trashed America and Israel, completely trashed the economy, and is taking away our defenses so we're a sitting duck. Yeah, that's deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize!

Fuck you, Nobel Committee. Fuck you.

Also... today's my birthday. Thanks.

Edit:

I've had a nice birthday so far. ^^ Tomorrow I'm going to a party for someone else's birthday so I can hang out with my buddy Amanda. Also, it's chilly today! It's the first day I've had to wear my sweater! WOO HOO! Global warming my ass. Also, also, I bought a red velvet cake with white icing, put candles on it myself and lit them up, mama Judy and I laughed and sang happy birthday to me. She gave me a large turtle pendant and turtle earrings. :3 And I found a squeaking mouse toy and Bear's hoarding it and growling anyone who comes near him away from it. Chewy's far too nice for his own good in regards to that damn brat. -.o

Finished reading New Moon

2009-08-08T10:34:02Z

I know I'm still sort of procrastinating in scanning and compiling Twilight pages for posting up for the Sue Destroyer, but I will eventually get through it one chapter at a time. In the mean time I still spork the books one book at a time. (I have begun to enjoy having these fuckers with me and my trusty red pens in my purse ready to whip out and write in. It's like having my computer with me wherever I go without worrying about accidentally losing it and my screenshots.)

So New Moon... I've told you what the beginning is like. God, it's like a distant bad memory. -.o

You have Bella whining about being "a year older than Edward", since, as we all know, Edward became a vampire at seventeen and she's now eighteen and thus she's supposedly one year older than the eternal teenager that is Edward McSparkles. So Sparkles and his family give Bella a new car radio, lots of expensive shit and an awesomely thrown birthday party done up in pink and silver and white. It's all ruined when--oopsies!--Bella gets a fucking PAPERCUT and Jasper wigs the fuck out and Edward compounds this by throwing her into a bunch of crystal and that results into a massive cut on her arm that causes the WHOLE FAMILY to have to back out minus Carlisle. And THEN Edward goes all emo, broody git and finally tells her that he and his family are bookin' it elsewhere and leaves her there in the forest outside of her house. This, is just after he went through her junk and took out everything he ever gave her and every picture of him she ever took.

Now, remember that. It's important you remember this because the explanation is god awful.

So Bella goes catatonic for four fucking months and Meyer marks this by leaving four pages completely blank except for the name of the month. Who goes catatonic over their boyfriend LEAVING? She doesn't even get angry about him taking her shit and rifling through it! She just falls over and goes catatonic. When she finally comes out of the catatonic state four months later she's whining about the hole in her chest that Edward left in her because he's her one true love in the whole wide world and without him all is dark and painful. When Charlie starts to finally think that perhaps Bella should go to a hospital to get her head checked out for what issues she's got that make her such a codependent mess and she nearly goes ballistic. So, to prove her daddy wrong, she goes off with one of her unfriends to a horror movie that she doesn't even pay attention to until she realizes that the zombies resemble her. Then, she walks out in a panic and sees a bunch of men out on the corner that resemble the gang that wanted to rape her sorry ass last year in Twilight. She walks toward them and her friend keeps telling her to come back, but of course Bella's not going to listen to her and keeps going to them. I'm even surprised her pal even cared enough to stay there and try to get Bella back. (maybe this was before the movie? I don't remember. >.>)

And then Bella hears Edward's voice in her head. No, seriously, she starts hearing Edward's voice in her head telling her to go back. Here I theorized that their love was so fucking special that she can hear him in her head when she's in danger. Remember this, again, because the explanation, while not far off from my original theory, is still utter bullshit.

So, she starts hanging out with Jacob more often and gets him to fix up a pair of motorcycles she was given all the while just salivating at the thought of hearing Edward's voice in her head when she finally gets on one of the motorcycles. She doesn't tell her dad about this at all, because if she did Charlie would sorely disapprove of her learning how to ride a motorcycle. (He apparently dislikes motorcycles greatly.) When she finally gets on one of the motorcycles and rides for real she hears Sparkles' voice in her head again and then promptly crashes the bike. Jacob promises to keep the motorcycles and the head injury that Bella received from the crash a secret from her dad so that he doesn't go totally apeshit on her. Seeing a pattern here?

And then Jacob goes AWOL on Bella and stays away for about two weeks before Bella comes out and this time Jacob's gone from nice, kind young man trying his best to get Bella to recognize him as potential boyfriend material, even though he knows perfectly well that Edward leaving Bella left her kind of like a shredded husk of herself, to a total asshole suffering from Harry's CAPSLOCK OF RAGE. And it isn't just Jacob that suffers this, it's several of the young Quilleute men. (I think I spelled that right.) See, before Jacob turned asshole he told Bella that his pals were hanging around the leader of the group, Sam, and that the other Quilleute like Sam's little gang he's got going. But, see, before Jacob's pals started acting like they had Voldemort whispering into their ears all the time they disappeared for a couple weeks and then started habitually hanging around Sam and doing what he told them to. By this point I was joking that Sam went off and made them "men" in the woods, but then Jacob does the same and we have the bigger joke that Sam's turned Jacob as well. Because Sam's just that hot.

So, it turns out that Jacob and the others are actually werewolves. (Meyer says they're NOT werewolves, but only shape-shifters. They're men that turn into wolves. THEY'RE WEREWOLVES.) And being werewolves they also have increased size and rage. When they get angry enough and lose control they explode into gigantic wolves that are as big as bears. And, the reason my constantly joking about Sam making "men" of these boys is thusly killed, it turns out that Sam has a fiance that got one side of her body totally messed up because Sam lost control and ripped her up when she got too close to him. D: (Yeah, I feel bad about him now.) And Bella's hanging around the wolves so much because Victoria, y'know, the RED HAIRED chick that James was the mate to, is trying to kill Bella and sent Laurent to kill her. Laurent, being the idiot he is, ended up getting his ass killed by the wolf pack instead of getting a meal out of Bella, but then he showed more initiative as a vampire than Edward will ever show in a fucking lifetime.

So the wolf pack keep Bella close to make sure they can keep watch on Bella and try to catch Vicky before she can do away with either Bella or Bella's dad. One day, Bella finally just gets it into her head to go cliff diving because she's not heard Edward's voice in a long while and wants to hear it again for old times sake. She jumps off the cliff into the ocean just as a storm starts up and nearly drowns. Jacob rescues her and takes her out. Why? Well, actually, the pack had been hunting Victoria and she jumped into the water. Apparently becoming a vampire makes you become a fish so they can't go in after her easily because she'll outswim them all. But nevermind that because Bella completely forgets this time and again until much later when she realizes that there is a connection between Jacob and the gang were chasing after Victoria and Bella seeing a "flame" out on the water.

And when Bella comes back home, finally, after nearly drowning and learning that her dad's best friend Harry died of a heart attack that day, she sees a car that looks like one of the Cullen cars and tells Jacob to take her back to her house and let her out. Jacob rebels against the wishes of the author and thusly books it before he can continue to be used by Bella for a while since she kept telling him that she recognizes the car as one of the Cullens' cars. Basically, she chooses to go after the vampires instead of sticking around with the werewolf. And, without thinking, she goes into her house to investigate which vampire is there, nevermind the fact that she has a vampire coming after her to kill her as revenge against Edward McSparkles for killing Victoria's mate and she could easily just steal a car and stick it outside Bella's house and hide inside waiting for her. It turns out to be Alice Cullen and what ensues is, I kid you not, the greatest work of femme slash ever. Oh, and Bella acts like a heroine addict to Alice.

++++++++++++

I locked my arms around her, gasping to inhale as much of the scent of her skin as possible. It wasn't like anything else--not floral or spice, citrus or musk. No perfume in the world could compare. My memory hadn't done it justice.

I didn't notice when the gasping turned into something else--I only realized I was sobbing when Alice dragged me to the living room couch and pulled me into her lap. It was like curling up into a cool stone, but a stone that was contoured comfortingly to the shape of my body. She rubbed my back in a gentle rhythm, waiting for me to get control of myself.

"I'm... sorry," I blubbered. "I'm just... so happy... to see you!"

++++++++++++

I could feel the blood draining from my face. My stomach dropped. "Don't go, Alice," I whispered. My fingers locked around the collar of her white shirt and I began to hyperventilate. "Please don't leave me."

++++++++++++

Would she leave so soon? My stomach dropped.
"Could you stay?" I begged. "Please? For just a little while. I've missed you so much." My voice broke.

++++++++++++

"You'll come back?" I asked in a small voice.

"I promise--one hour."

I glanced at the clock over the kitchen table. She laughed and leaned in quickly to kiss me on the cheek. Then she was gone.

++++++++++++

While Thursday's casserole rotated in the microwave, I made up the couch with sheets and an old pillow. Alice wouldn't need it, but Charlie would need to see it. I was careful not to watch the clock. There was no reason to start meyself panicking; Alice had promised.

++++++++++++

Oh ho, but that isn't all. After the femme slash comes some more vomit inducing prose and whatever else. We actually get an explanation from Charlie to Alice one day that Charlie came in and saw that Bella wasn't even moving and that a doctor had come to see her and said she'd gone catatonic. He speculated that perhaps he should put her into a hospital, but never actually got that far because Bella woke up and started throwing shit around until she quieted down and went about doing every day things as a hollow husk so she could disassociate herself from everything. Charlie's talking about how worried he is for Bella's mental health and emotional health, and hopes that Alice's being there won't cause Bella to revert BACK to being a vegetable or that Edward will come back and wreak even more havoc on her.

+++++++++++

Charlie sighed out a big gust of air, folding quickly to the lack of opposition. "Okay, so I guess that's overstating things. I don't know... even with Jacob, now and then I see something in her eyes, and I wonder if I've ever grasped how much pain she's really in. It's not normal, Alice, and it... it frightens me. Not normal at all. Not like someone... left her, but like someone died." His voice cracked.

It was like someone had died--like I had died. Because it had been more than just losing the truest of true loves, as if that were not enough to kill someone. It was also losing a whole future, a whole family--the whole life that I'd chosen...

+++++++++++

Jacob comes over and Alice books it for a bit so Jacob doesn't go apeshit with having a vampire nearby. He came in to check on Bella and whatever, I don't care anymore really. He has a talk with Bella and... Bella's crush on Alice is very prevalent throughout the stay.

+++++++++++

I sniffed and stared at his big feet. "But you'll wait, right? You'll still be my friend, even though I love Alice, too?"

+++++++++++

"Well, you both smell fine to me." I rested my head against him again. I was going to miss him terribly when he walked out my door. It was a nasty catch-22--on the one hand, I wanted Alice to stay forever. I was going to die--metaphorically--when she left me. But how was I supposed to go without seeing Jake for any length of time? What a mess, I though again.

"I'll miss you," Jacob whispered, echoing my thoughts. "Every minute. I hope she leaves soon."

"It really doesn't have to be that way, Jake."

He sighed. "Yes, it really does, Bella. You... love her. So I'd better not get anywhere near her. I'm not sure that I'm even-tempered enough to handle that. Sam would be mad if I broke the treaty, and"--his voice turned sarcastic--"you probably wouldn't like it too much if I killed your friend."

++++++++++++

Then, there's a phone call and someone talks to Jacob, who doesn't let Bella answer the phone, and he says Charlie's at the funeral. Alice comes back and says Edward is going to commit Sparkle-cide and it's because Jacob didn't disspel the nasty rumor that Bella died, which Alice had said Bella jumped off the cliff to Rosalie and Rosalie said Bella died to Edward. So Edward's going off to Volterra, Italy where he's going to get the Volturi, the elders of the vampires, to kill him. Meanwhile, Meyer's trying to shove down our throats that Bella is Juliet and Edward is Romeo and blah blah blah. It's stupid. VERY STUPID.

Oh, and Alice confirms that Edward really is GAY.

++++++++++++

"So if they agree to grant his favor, we're too late. If they say no, and he comes up with a plan to offend them quickly enough, we're too late. If he gives into his more theatrical tendencies... we might have time."

++++++++++++

Okay, so it's my stupid joke that he is. *shrug*

So Alice and Bella book it to Italy and Alice steals a car and drives all the way to Volterra after they get off the airplane. Alice bribes her way into the city past the guards and then Bella darts out through the crowd of people apparently celebrating St. Marcus Day, which is in honor of St. Marcus, one of the Volturi, for driving out the vampires from the city. They all wear lots of red and fake fangs and celebrate like Italians. Edward's hiding out with a sheet and waiting for noon to strike before he walks out into the sunlight to attract the Volturi attention and thus commit "sparkle-cide". Bella runs into him and they both think they're dead and in heaven together. *GAG* And Bella continues to exhibit signs of being an Object Sexual because she described Edward in glowing terms as being a statue and stone cold.

A couple Volturi guards are waiting for them and Alice comes along before a fight can ensue. They then all slip down into a hole and go through a maze with Bella's running commentary constantly making me want to vomit. They finally make it to the Volturi and they've got a human receptionist and a reception room fit for a big business building. They see the Volturi and Aro reminds me of a very happy gay man as he prances around and goes on and on about love and happy endings and whatever the fuck else. He's seriously funny, though, especially if you imagine him speaking with a lisp. Apparently Marcus doesn't like his enthusiasm, though. Oh, and it should be pointed out that Marcus, Caius and Aro all have paper thin skin and thus need bodyguards to make sure no one can hurt them easily. But fuck all that, they're vampires that like killing people and enjoy giving pain. Also, the Volturi have red eyes like James, Laurent and Victoria, thusly signifying that they're EBIL. Thus this just solidifies that fact that Bella should have no reason to want to be a vampire since, clearly, after about a thousand years or so your skin becomes like a 90 year old's.

So Aro informs Bella that he'd like to add her to their number because she's that fucking special and she resists the various mind tricks of the Volturi for no reason given. The only reason given for this particular trait is by Meyer in her FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS. In this Meyer says that Edward can't read Bella's mind because "Bella has a private mind." Really, Meyer? Really? You don't think everyone else doesn't have a private mind?! Also, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE A FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS SECTION OF YOUR SITE DEDICATED TO EACH NOVEL! YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY PUT THIS INFORMATION INTO THE FUCKING BOOK ALREADY!!

Because Bella is human and knows their secret Aro informs Edward that he is to either kill her or make her a vampire, otherwise the Volturi will take care of her for Edward. Edward promises to turn Bella into a vampire later if they can go free so they're freed right before lunch comes walking past them as they walk out of the Volturi mess hall. A bunch of people come walking in wondering what's going on and Bella fucking loses it when she realizes, very slowly I might add, that they're going to be slaughtered by the Volturi for food. She loses it further when she hears the screams of the people and goes into a sobbing fit. Remember this, because Bella clearly doesn't, at least not substantially.

So they all troop back to the states and Charlie has a fit about Bella going off for three days without much word and Bella's acting like he shouldn't be pissed at her and saying she's a grown-up and whatever. Once again it's hammered into our heads by Meyer that Bella and Edward are true loves like Romeo and Juliet. Again. And again. And again. Seriously, she never stops drawing the parallels throughout the entire book. She passes out finally from exhaustion and wakes up in Edward's arms, despite the fact that Edward's banned from the house. Edward and Bella have lots of lovey dovey whatever the fuck else talk about how much they need each other and missed one another and Bella continually being emo in her inner monologue telling us how she knows Edward's going to skip town again and doesn't want to have hope. They snog a bit and talk some more and she reminds him that he's promised to make her a vampire to the Volturi.

++++++++++++

I paused. I wasn't sure I could say the name. "There are others who are coming to look for me," I reminded him in a subdued whisper.

He sighed, but the reaction was not as strong as I would have imagined after his response to Victoria.

"The Volturi are only the second greatest?"

"You don't seem that upset about it," I noted.

"Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, or even me. They count years the way you count days. I wouldn't be surprised if you were thirty before you crossed their minds again," he added lightly.

Horror washed through me.

Thirty.

So his promises meant nothing, in the end. If I were going to turn thirty someday, then he couldn't be planning on staying long. The harsh pain of this knowledge made me realize that I'd already begun to hope, without giving myself permission to do so.

++++++++++++

"But you said thirty," I whispered. The tears leaked over the edge. "What? You're going to stay, but let me get all old anyway? Right."

++++++++++++

"Let's just back up for a minute," I said; feeling angry made it so much easier to be clear, decisive. "You do remember the Volturi, right? I can't stay human forever. They'll kill me. Even if they don't think of me till I'm thirty"--I hissed the word--"do you really think they'll forget?"

++++++++++++

"I have a few plans."

"And these plans," I said, my voice getting more acidic with each word. "These plans all center around me staying human."

++++++++++++

Yes, that's right, kids! Being over the age of thirty is being too OLD. Live life while you're a teenager because once you hit thirty you're no longer young and pretty anymore. You're just old. And become a vampire before thirty, because otherwise you'll be OLD and HUMAN.

So Bella flounces off to see the other Cullens, with the aid of Edward lending his back to her to ride on, and they put it to a vote. The Cullens then vote to make Bella one of them at some point and Bella takes it to mean RIGHT THEN. She tries to goad Alice into turning her into a vampire, but of course Alice declines saying that she isn't sure if she'll be able to do it right on account she's not sure if she'll not end up accidentally killing Bella in the process. So Bella gets Carlisle to promise to do it while Edward throws a royal fit that everyone's going along with the whole turning Bella into a vampire plan at all and comes back. Carlisle agrees to change Bella after graduation from Forks High and Edward takes her back home.

Oh, before all that, Edward and Bella explain to each other about how Bella heard Edward's voice in her head whenever she put herself in mortal danger. (They're outside the Cullen house.) Edward then tells her exactly how much more pathetic he is than Bella in such a way that I must say to Edward: Hand in your cock and balls, man. You're officially a woman.

+++++++++++++

"You were better at it than I was, you know," he told me.

"Better at what?"

"Surviving. You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life. When I wasn't actively tracking, I was... totally useless. I couldn't be around my family--I couldn't be around anyone. I'm embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me." He grinned, sheepish. "It was much more pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too."

+++++++++++++

Oh and also Bella has an epiphany as to why she could hear Edward's voice in her head: he LOVES her. That's it. That's the whole reason she could hear him talking in her head. I told you I wasn't very far off from my original speculation. She heard him in her head because their love is so damn special that she just CAN. Also, Edward confesses that he never actually took away her stuff from him, but he hid them under the floorboards of her room.

So after the vote with the Cullens, Sparkles takes Bella home and they talk some more in her room. Mostly, they talk about when Bella's transformation into Perfect!Bella will come about and they get into a bit of an argument about it. Edward wants to wait for like... five years or some shit like that to turn Bella into Perfect!Bella and she wants it done RIGHT NAO. So he does the clever thing and asks her what she wants most in the world and she tells him that she wants him, he says he means other than that and she doesn't quite get it, she eventually tells him she wants HIM to turn her into Perfect!Bella. So they argue on the amount of time to wait until they do that.

+++++++++++++

"You said anything," he reminded me.

"Yes, but... you'll used the time to find a way out of it. I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, it's just too dangerous to be human--for me, at least. So, anything but that."

He frowned. "Three years?"

"No!"

"Isn't it worth anything you at all?"

I thought about how much I wanted this. Better to keep a poker face, I decided, and not let him know how very much that was. I would give me more leverage. "Six months?"

He rolled his eyes. "Not good enough."

"One year, then," I said. "That's my limit."

"At least give me two."

"No way. Nineteen I'll do. But I'm not going anywhere near twenty. If you're staying in your teens forever, then so am I."

+++++++++++++++++

Because being over the age of TWENTY is being too OLD. =.=;;

+++++++++++++++++

He thought for a minute. "All right. Forget the time limits. If you want me to be the one--then you'll just have to meet one condition."

"Condition?" My voice went flat. "What condition?"

Hius eyes were cautious--he spoke slowly. "Marry me first."

I stared at him, waiting... "Okay. What's the punhline?"

He sighed. "You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke."

Edward, please be serious."

"I am one hundred percent serious." He gazed at me with no hint of humore in his face.

"Oh, c'mon," I said, an edge of hysteria in my voice. "I'm only eighteen."

+++++++++++++++++

Make up your fucking mind, Bella. First you're all "I want to stay with you forever!" and "I want to be a vampire RIGHT NAO!" and then suddenly you do a 180 when Edward proposes to you. Oh, she gives a reason for it. She says it's because marriage was the death kiss for Renea and Charlie and Renea has a thing about girls marrying before the age of thirty. *rolls eyes*

Charlie shows up at some point and scolds her and demands an explanation for where she's been for three days and Bella acts like he has no fucking right to even be so angry with her or with Edward and tells him that Edward is staying around. After being defeated by the mighty non-logic of Bella, Charlie leaves her to her own devices. Like, some time later or some shit like that, I don't care anymore, Bella's been trying to get a hold of Jacob and he's not answering. Bella's grounded and can't go anywhere except to school and home. Edward's allowed to go to school with her and stay at home with her until about nine o'clock when Charlie shoos him out of the house. When Jacob finally shows up again he's back in ass mode and gets Bella grounded further by bringing her motorcycle over to her house and reminds Edward that the treaty between their peoples states that the Cullens are bound by contract to never bite, not kill, another human being and make another like themselves or else the treaty is over with.

Bella feels betrayed and gets in Jacob's face for betraying her secret suicidal life to her dad and then gets upset that Jacob won't even cooperate long enough to keep from totally raining on her happy vampire life parade. At this point I love Jacob more because he's totally rebelling against Bella's suedom, but not wholly broken away from it. That last thing you read is Bella going off to face her pissed off dad for the motorcycle. Whatever. She never gives him respect anyway so I think she deserves what she's getting.

Now, I'm reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in between times sporking this series so I don't forget what GOOD writing looks like. -.o It also keeps my sanity in check. That's all. I'll try to get more Twilight up later.

Tagged: Axis Powers Hetalia surveys

2009-08-06T02:49:32Z

APH Situation Survey - A day off!

You are spending your time with the 92 APH members on your day off.
Choose the option you like the most.

You just woke up. Today is Sunday.
1. "Hurry up and wake up, kono obakasanga." Austria who prepared breakfast and came to wake you up at 7 am.
2. "What? You're waking up already?" It's past noon but Spain's arms are wrapped around you.
3. "I recorded the morning anime for you." Isn't it for your self, Japan?

2. : D I hate waking up and getting out of bed. Bed is nice. So is Spain. >.>

What will you do today?
1. "A wedding with brother."　Belarus. Of course.
2. "I want to plant Sunflower seeds. It's ok with you right?" Russia who smiles at you innocently.
3. "The other day I bought Japan's new game!" America who brings out two controllers.

3. I'll kick your ass, Alfred! >: D

What will you do for lunch?
1. "It's almost done~." You smell something really good coming from the kitchen, and see France cooking with his apron on.
2. "The fried rice is ready! Eat it." China who offers you fried rice.
3. "Al dente is good for your pasta right?" "What do you want the sauce to be~?" Romano and Veneziano making pasta for you!

1. =A=;; Francis! Why so sexy with an apron?!! ~//~ oh, this food is just like papa makes at home~. (depending on my mood, I might instead choose Chinese. ~///~ I love Chinese food~.)

It's such a nice day! So you go outside.
1. "I get sleepy when its warm..." Play with a cat with Greece.
2. "Doesn't this taste really good?" You eat freshly picked tomatoes with Spain.
3. "I can't get it right." Blow bubbles with Sealand.

1. KITTY! :3 =A=;;!! Oh, you pouty lipped pretty boy!! DAMN YOU! (or play with sealand, depending on my mood. :3 I love playing with kids and I love blowing bubbles.)

It suddenly started to rain!
1. "Oh! I need to go take in the laundry!" A housewife like Lithuania.
2. "Hey.......I can see through your clothes." Perverted Britannia Angel England who is looking away from you, blushing.
3. "Don't cause me trouble by getting sick." Germany, who dries your hair with a towel when getting back to his house.

1. oAo! I'll help you get the laundry in, Liet!! You should invest in a dryer! Only my aunt Joyce ever dries laundry on a line!
(2. oh hai, Britania Angel!England... >.>)

The day is almost over.
1. "You bought that can of beer I asked for, didn't you?" You nod and Prussia pats you on the head.
2. "Let's watch this drama together!" Watch a Korean drama with S Korea
3. "Stop staying awake and go to sleep!" You were watching TV but was ordered to bed by Switzerland.

2. WOO! Let's watch something funny, Im Yong! Maybe Meteor Garden? :3~ It does have subtitles, right? right?
(1. yo, Prussia. My grandpa told you not to drink all his Shiner Bock.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

APH Chibi Dream Survey
　One day the Hetalia characters shrank and are back to their child self.
　You will spend one day with them.
　Choose your favorite action made by characters.

When you wake up in the morning...
1) "Nnya...." Don't sleep naked!　Chibitalia
2) "This is a dream isn't it?" Chibi Kiku who can't accept reality.
3) "Hm? The cat expanded in size..." You shrank! Chibi Greece.

3. ^^;; And you're a kid, Herakles. Sorry. ^^ why don't you play with my kitten Bear? Be careful, though, he likes gnawing on things.

So it's breakfast・・・
1) "...ooo....I can't reach it!!" Chibi Romano who stretches to reach his food.
2) "You're going to feed me, right?" Chibi Russian who is still Ivan even as a kid.
3) "Mu...I can't eat this. You eat it." Chibi China who is being fed by you.

3. it's not so bad, China. Here, I'll eat with you if you promise to eat as well. ^^ I learned to cook from my grandpa after all.
(2. Russia, you can eat on your own, you know. You're bigger than everyone else.
1. *puts booster seat under Romano so he can reach his food*)

Okay, now what?
1) "Okay, then like, play with meeee~!" Chibi Poland
2) "Although I shrank, I still need to train everyday!" Chibi Germany who tries to wear his uniform but the sleeves are drooping on the floor.
3) "I want to make dessert..." Chibi Austria....

2. that... might be the cutest thing I've ever seen. o.o *gets Germany a better fitting outfit to wear from Banna Bay Army Surplus*
(3. :3 my grandma has some nice recipes for desserts, Austria. ^^)

It's time for noon nap time!
1) "Help me get into my pajamas." Isn't it only a noon nap time? Chibi Switzerland.
2) "Okay, so we're sleeping together right?" Chibi France who can't hide his excitement.
3) "It... it's not that I can't sleep by myself..." Chibi Arthur who is grabbing your hand.

3. ^^ it's okay, Arthur, I like afternoon naps.
(2. only if you and Arthur don't fight. If you fight, you both get to sleep by yourselves.)

Now it's time to take a bath.
1) "I'll be in first!" Chibi South Korea who gets naked in 3 seconds.
2) "Wha....no I can't..." Chibi Kiku who is embarrassed and hides in a corner.
3) "Ahh....That was good!" Chibi Canada who is already out.

3. very good, Canada! ^^ I'm proud of you.

The next day they returned to their normal selves.
1) "Oh yes finally! It's hard to take care of Poland when I'm small." Lithuania who starts to rant.
2) "I'm back to normal!" Even though you're back you're still small...*niyo niyo* - Sealand
3) "Hey! I'm the only one not turning back!" Oh...you're the only one? ChibiGilbo

1. *patpats Liet* dude, take a break and go try chatting up Belarus. No, seriously, hanging around Poland constantly is not good for your mental health. ^^;;

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hetalia Decision Survey!

You were invited to their house.
1. Russia- although you don't have an airplane ticket back.
2. England- Don't really want his scones
3. Italy- You might become Italian

2. I'll do the cooking, England. Let's go check out the haunted castles!

Which do you want to play with?
1. Greece's cat
2. England's unicorn
3. America's alien

=A=!! hard choice....
2. o.o a... a unicorn.... ;___; it's... it's beautiful... *sniff, offers hand* (I've got three cats. -.o)

You think you can either...
1. Stop the drunk England from going crazy
2. Fight back at France who is trying to *beep* you.
3. Sealing Mr. Dangerous. (as in Russia)

2. oh, no contest, I can kick his snail munching ass. *PUNCH!* OI! HANDS OFF, FROG BREATH! Those are NOT for you to just play with willy nilly! *covers chest*
(1. why would I stop him? I'd be taking pictures and video footage to show him later. >: 3)

An unlikely person sends you a letter asking to be your friend.
1. Are you sick or something? -Switzerland
2. Did something bad happen? - Germany
3. Wonder if he's up to something... - Prussia

1. *raises eyebrow* Switzerland... is actually asking me to be his friend? -.o is he all right?

Right when you were about to fall asleep, a kid snuggles into your bed.
1. "Sleep with meeee!" Chibi America who watched a horror movie
2. "It....It's not that I'm lonely..." Chibi England who's voice is getting smaller.
3. "Weh, let's sleep together!" So cute....Chibitalia

2. *blink, smile* ^^ it's okay, England.

For this survey you will tag...
1. "At least 10 people, right?" Scary Russia...
2. "Send it to 5 people." An order by Austria.
3. "Let the people tag themselves~" China who seems he doesn't care.

3. ya'll do what you want. :3

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hetalia Decision Survey 2!

You're hungry...
1. "I didn't make it just for you! They're just left overs!" A wonderful tsundere, England.
2. "Do you want to eat at my house?" Japan who offers delicious food.
3. "Eat cheese." What...are you serious? Switzerland

2. *A* food..... Thank you very much, Japan. ^^

Today is Valentines Day!
1. "What? For me? Thanks!!" Spain who is very happy to get one.
2. "Like really? Thanks!" Poland who seems pretty happy and hugs you.
3. "...what? M, me!?" Prussia who is blushing like crazy.

3. *giggles* Your face is enough of a Valentines gift for me, man. Seriously. That's adorable.

If you can shrink someone with a miracle...
1. "What are you thinking?" Russia who....you don't want to know what he'll do to you.
2. "What? Am I being targeted?" Yep, Brother France.
3. "What are you going to do with me!?" Going to shrink you, Austria.

3. ^^ don't worry, I'll take care of you, Roderich.

Who would you choose to make him wear a Halloween costume?
1. "He...Hey, STOP!" No we're not stopping....Germany.
2. "Weh~! What do you want me to wear?" Seems like he's up to it. Italy.
3. "What...what? Naniaruka!?" China.

2. ^^ You'd look cute as a puppy, Feliciano. *patpat*

For this survey you will tag...
1. "At least 10 people!!!" South Korea.
2. "Around 5 people?" Sweden who is pretty serious about it.
3. "One...? Someone?" Lithuania who is trying his best.

^^ *patpats Liet* I'll just let the people decide what they want to do; how's that, Lithuania?

To Take A Place That Isn't Yours - BrassRing184

2009-08-03T02:52:06Z

Once again, going through my old files for screenshot stories I haven't done. I'm sitting here watching Doctor Who--fourth doctor-- and I just bought myself Mansfield Park and Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen because I've been reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and have gone into a Jane Austen mood. Poor Amanda's conked out for the moment, she's had a long weekend, so I'm left to myself to watch the good Doctor go about saving the day. And for some reason or other I can't find my sunglasses anywhere. Oh well, I guess I'll have to get some tomorrow. Anyway, I digress.

This story was in my files and I pulled it out and looked to see if I could get better screenshots for it. Well, as my luck would have it the author took the story down and I've only got the first ten chapters of it. Oh well! This is a very boring little story, though no where near as mind-numbingly boring as say Forevercountry's work, and it features your basic, average mary sue. She comes to Hogwarts in Harry's fourth year and went to a regular school in Scotland, but nevermind that since she speaks in blatant Americanisms, and she DOESN'T KNOW MAGIC. She's sixteen, but nevermind that because she changes ages, I think, somewhere in there because she's in Harry's year, which is his fourth year. And then, of course, she's a Gryffindor, sorry, Griffendore, and Fred and George teach her all the magic she missed in previous years in one day so that she's suddenly proficient in it all.

Her name is Peyton Harrison and she has Harry's balls and Draco's balls as well. And when I say she has their balls I mean it. The first moment Harry sees Peyton he goes out of his way to pull her onto the train and into the compartment with him, Ron and Hermione. Harry and Peyton both fall asleep with his head on her shoulder and hers resting on his head. And then he gets jealous and physically ill from it when he sees Draco taking Peyton out and romancing her. -.o

Oh, and supposedly she has some super secret reason that Dumbledore didn't allow a letter to go to her until that very year for Hogwarts, but, of course, as I said, the author took the story down and I only have the first ten chapters. She put it up again, but it's a revised version that is only one chapter long, that I can tell. (I only took a look to see how many chapters it has, not that I actually read it.)

As usual, you can read it on the U.S.S. Sue Destroyer.

To Take A Place That Isn't Yours by BrassRing184

Peyton Harrison

Chapter One: 1 2 3
Chapter Two: 1 2
Chapter Three: 1 2
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six: 1 2
Chapter Seven: 1 2
Chapter Eight: 1 2
Chapter Nine: 1 2 3
Chapter Ten

The Dark Lord's Heiress - DarkLordsHeiress

2009-07-29T12:01:59Z

This I found a loooooooooong time ago in a galaxy far, far away and I still don't have any idea where I got it really. I was, again, poking through my backlogged folders and I found this. I tried to find it again and realized that the author had deleted it like so much fodder. Bad for her, then, that I have the only surviving copy then, eh? >.>

Meet Cinzia Nott, or Cin for short. (Geddit? Sin? lawl god I'm tired.) She's a parselmouth, she is an accomplished occlumist and a legilimens and she's a full metamorphagus. Oh, and she also happens to be the Dark Lord's daughter, but she doesn't know that. She's off posing for bitchboy Draco in slutwear to piss off Lucius when in comes Voldemort and demands to see her. She comes down in that attire and Voldemort then acts very, very weird. He acts like he's going to have some "fun" with her if you know what I mean, and I know you do. Draco is also acting very weird and he chuckles knowingly before walking off when dismissed. Remember this because it's completely irrelevant later. Then, voldemort asks her where the most private place in the house is and she says it's the attic and the attic, as it turns out, was bought from a love hotel complete with cocktail bar and red velvet on the bed. -.o And then he asks her where she wants her dark mark and she tells him right above her ass. And THEN it's revealed to the other deatheaters that she is his daughter and blah blah blah... unnecessary DRAMA ensues as Draco earns his dramaqueen award and the sue competes for it. It's stupid.

And as usual, it's always cross posted on the Sue Destroyer.

The Dark Lord's Heiress by Dark Lords Heiress

Cinzia "Cin" Nott

Chapter One
Chapter Two: 1 2
Chapter Three: 1 2
Chapter Four

dark angel in hogwarts - SweetiePieAngel

2009-07-29T01:19:39Z

I'm still sort of staving off of New Moon for a while until Ecplise comes out in paperback, hopefully in Half-Price Books. In the mean time I'm doing these things and reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Cirque du Freak. (Thank you whomever recommended it.)

I went poking through my bookmarks in my "suefics" folder and then looked in my "Fanfiction Sporks" folder for things I had not done. This is one of those that I had made screenshots of, but never got around to doing. I tend to do the ones that irritate me the most and the motivation of seeing the whole thing brutalized is what keeps me going. This thing... it's offensive and unremarkable aside from being amazingly offensive. I doubt you'll enjoy it even with my commentary. Even still, I'll let you read it. -.o

As the author says she made up this character to prove the point that her characters are NOT Mary Sues at all, so to drive this point home she came up with a Bitchiwitch Sue. A really bad Bitchiwitch Sue. That's... really all you need to know.

As always, it's cross posted on the Sue Destroyer.

dark angel in hogwarts by SweetiePieAngel

Raven Moonlyt

Chapter One
Chapter Two

Living in MASH - st.Jimmy108

2009-07-26T06:19:56Z

If ever there was an award for stupid fanfiction this one would definitely get the award. It's not so stupid it's entertaining. It's just stupid. period.

Meet Captain Ali Chance, apparently a doctor at the old 4077th M*A*S*H unit. (only she puts it in Vietnam instead of Korea.) She's a GOTH. I capitalize this because it's constantly pointed out that she is, indeed, a GOTH. She also has telekinesis. And a the "book of Azar". And a laptop and C.D.s. And she sends people randomly to the "cesspool" when they somehow piss her off, also randomly. She also blares Evanescence, Green Day and Linkin Park at midnight over the speakers. And Hawkeye, Radar, Potter and B.J. Hunnicut are all her BFFs. For real. And Winchester knows what C.D.s are and gets laughed at by Ali when he says he listens to opera and then she challenges him to a fight. Apparently it's also mandatory to go to the Catholic tent on Sunday morning for Father Mulcahy's sermon, rather than, you know, going to maybe the Protestant tent or not going at all.

As with all of these, you can also view the community post of Living in MASH.

Living in MASH by st.Jimmy108

Captain Alison Chance

parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

P.S. IT'S CONVERSE. NOT CHUCKS. I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE TERM "CHUCKS" IN REFERENCE TO CONVERSE SHOES!

Snow Angel - Dark Angell908 (Ho!Ginny on drugs!)

2009-07-24T12:47:59Z

: D

This is something I've had for a while, but never got around to do. I have a bunch of these sorts of things in my files, you know. I just sometimes forget about these things until I look back into my files for something to do. Well, I found this in my files and re-screenshot the whole thing for this purpose. I hope you enjoy.

Ginny, sorry, Ginevra Weasley has changed. She's all grown up and changed her hair color from that horrible orange color to a deep red. She's wearing all the latest American styles from hooker heels, micromini skirts and half shirts to showcase her stylin' belly button ring. She's being rude, bitchy and generally horrible to her brother Ron, being rude, bitchy and generally horrible to her friend Hermione, and she's being rude, bitchy and exceptionally horrible to Harry for even looking at her. She's even got a stylin' new friend from America who's a "former" prostitute and is addicted to cocaine, which they happily snort on the train before going off to snog and generally sex up Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini, who also snort it up with the girls. Oh, but don't let all that worry you, the "former" whore Alyse also comes with a trendy Tragic Past to compliment her Gucci shoes, cocaine habit and slutty ways. Oh, and she calls Ron a few lovely, choice names, calls Hermione some lovely choice names and, once again, is rude to Harry. Oh, but she's particularly horrible to Ron because he's actually trying his best to get between her and Alyse and Malfoy.

: D

This story makes me want to kill things. Slowly. Preferrably the author. I want to slice her skin off piece by lovely, red laden piece and make her eat them. I want to make her piss on on her own wounds and listen to her screams of agony. I want to give her the hope that maybe she'll be able to get free right before I beat her with a baseball bat until her head caves in and then use the mess that used to be her face to smear her blood all over the walls into one, single, message: "Don't fuck with canon."

: D

Snow Angel by Dark Angell908

Ginevra Weasley and Alyse Callavarie

Ehren

Chapter One: 1 2 3 4 5
Chapter Two: 1 2 3 4
Chapter Three: 1 2 3 4
Author's Note
Chapter Four: 1 2 3 4 5

Ghost Of You - bloodytearz666

2009-07-23T06:23:55Z

And because this bitch offends me so badly with her constantly insisting that blonde = retarded, rich, preppy slut... I'm going to have my fun on her second story. You'll loathe it. It's pure canonrape. Hermione's parents aren't really her parents, but adoptive muggle parents that beat her and raped her because she's different. And to add insult to injury the suethor then says its not implied to NOT BE TRUE so therefore her characterization is okay. Then, she makes Hermione dye her hair black, I'm assuming straightening since every other Makeover!Hermione ends up with straight hair, wear black, trashy clothes and bad make-up. Then, she puts Ginny in black, trashy slut wear and then changes Cho Chang's name to be Dementia and has her have an apartment in Tokyo, Japan, which Hermione somehow managed to get to from England during the summer after running away from her parents' home, and also puts HER in trashy slut wear that makes me want to defend her honor. I HATE CHO.

Bloodytearz666 is a repeat offender, read I'm Not Okay if you have not.

Ghost Of You by bloodytearz666

left to right: Dementia (Cho Chang), Maya (Hermione Granger), Virginia (Ginny), and Luna Lovegood

parts: 1 2 3

I'm Not Okay - bloodytearz666

2009-07-21T12:32:17Z

Remember that horrible fic called My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie? Well, this is her pal bloodytearz666. Bloodytearz666 writes only slightly better English than dear Tara, but that really doesn't help her much. The writing is just as stupid as My Immortal except without the whole "so stupid it's funny" aspect. I've done this thing before, partly, but even still I couldn't help doing it all over again and finishing it, mostly because Eternity is such a terrible, horrendous Sue and has pretty well destroyed everything else inside Harry Potter with her sueishness.

Apparently, everyone who is blonde is deemed a preppy bitch and earns the ire of dear Eternity and her pals. Draco is pussified incredibly, not that he was that macho to begin with. He has long black hair and blue eyes instead of the canon gray. He also gets really shy around Eternity. There's a half vampire named Darren who sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't place where. Pansy swears like a sailor now and has long dyed black hair and calls herself Sea. Tara's even in this by the name Elvira. Also, there's a Gerard Way dopple-ganger running around that's named Satan and I'm not entirely certain who the hell he is supposed to be. And apparently all Gryffindors are preppy retards and Slytherins are all gothy cool people. -.o right.

As with all of these, I'm posting this on the LJ Community I made for this ship a while back.

I'm Not Okay by bloodytearz666

from left to right: Satan, Sea (Pansy Parkinson), Shadow, Eternity, Draco Malfoy, Elvira, Darren

Author's Profile
Chapter One: 1 2
Chapter Two: 1 2
Chapter Three: 1 2 3
Chapter Four: 1 2
Chapter Five